Tonight, the dancers are doing what I thought they were supposed to do last week – dance one routine with an All-Star, and then another paired up with fellow finalist. This exciting (to me) news is quickly dispensed with, however, so the show can get to what it deems the most important element of the night: Guest judges Rob Marshall and Lady Gaga. I must admit, that’s a lot of star power to blow on one episode. Gaga looks relatively normal, you know, if tonight’s episode turns out to have a Sgt. Pepper theme.
Well, it’s déjà vu here, people. When last we met on Wednesday, Adam and Dominic were up for eviction. And here we are again, with the pair once again on the chopping block. Rachel’s in charge of the house, if not her emotions, and there’s a good chance that Jeff and Jordan could get backdoored if Adam and Dominic win tonight’s PoV challenge. Two weeks ago, none of these words would have meant anything to me. Now? I’m speaking fluent “Big Brother”-anese. This is…growth?
When we last left Jason “Ghost Daddy” Stackhouse, he had three sets of super-duper DNA doin’ a line dance in his veins: fairy, vampire and were-panther. Which mythical blood plasma will win? My money is on fairy, but at the moment it doesn’t matter, because Tommy Merlotte is in immediate danger, y’all! The young shape-shifter is busy ex-caping from that evil, dog-fighting-ring-runnin’ Joe Lee! Fight, Tommy, fight! Turn into something horrible! Tommy stays human, but he still defends himself quite effectively. In fact, Tommy clocks Joe Lee right hard! On his hade! In a way that makes folks turn dead! And, uh oh! Mommy Tommy gets hit dead too!
It’s Elimination Night on “Big Brother,” people. How upset am I that Leslie Moonves, not Rupert Murdoch, owns CBS? Because after watching the fireworks in Great Britain this past week, I’d rather be watching Wendi Deng host “Big Brother.” That woman does NOT tolerate tomfoolery, y’all. Instead, we’re stuck with Julie Chen pretending that she cares about the lives of those inside the house. Oh well.
Now that weâ€™re down to the top ten dancers, all of the elimination episodes are brutal. When the performance show is as strong as last nightâ€™s? Itâ€™s ten times worse. Still, one guy and one girl must be sent to the big dance cloud in the sky, or wherever it is they hide them until the tour begins. Letâ€™s get down to it!
Previously on “Big Brother”: stupid people did stupid things! Yup, that about sums it up. No need to summarize things further. You know the drill at this point. Onto tonight’s episode!
Hello, dance fans! Liane is busy doing her thing at Comic-Con so I’ll be filling in for her this week, and what a week I pulled: not only is it the first week for All-Stars, but humankind favorite Neil Patrick Harris guest hosts! (Yes, humankind. It is against the nature of our species to dislike him.)
When we last left the randy, fairy-touched folk of Bon Temps, Jessica was developing a taste for more exotic food; Lafayette and Co. were trying, with mild success, to parlay with Pam over Marnie’s necromantic machinations; Vampire Bill had entered into a duly negotiated and sealed sexual union with Portia Bellefleur; Jason was being hog-tied and raped by unwashed panther women; and Eric’s brains had been rendered into a hush-puppy-like mess -- soft on the inside, fried crispy on the outside -- by a bunch of Wiccans before he got all squirrelly and drained Sookie’s fairy godmother.
It's been a busy first week for our "Big Brother" hamsters. Rachel put Porsche and Keith up for Eviction. The Regulators were born. Evel Dick went off into the Diary Room and never returned. Everybody in the house conspired independently to throw the Power of Veto, working at hilarious cross-purposes. And, in a daring challenge, the new contestants competed to see if they could accumulate 100 IQ points between them! [The last thing didn't happen. I just wanted to imply that they aren't particularly clever.]
Click through for a minute-by-minute report from Thursday (July 14) night's "Big Brother" elimination episode...
Hey all, and thanks for tagging along as I experience my first season of “Big Brother.” Yes, I’m a newbie to the franchise, the novice of the HitFix hydra covering this latest season of the CBS reality stalwart. Liane and Dan will be offering their expertise on Sundays and Thursdays, respectively, while I will sit between them wondering things like, “Do people really spend the entire season whispering to each other?” and “Dear God, will every challenge be as sexually explicit as that Banana Grab debacle?”
So if you’re looking for me to apply advice learned over the past dozen seasons, well, you might be disappointed. But if you want to see the show through untrained eyes, hopefully this will provide either some insight or at least amusement. Think of it this way: I’m like Jane Goodall, peeling past the brush for the first time to study chimpanzees. Although that analogy probably does a great disservice to Jane. Also, a great disservice to the chimps.
Onto tonight’s episode!