<p>Chelsea Kane of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Chelsea Kane of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Results - A sixth dancer departs

After a surprisingly solid performance, another celebrity gets the boot

It’s elimination night (waah waah) and, as usual, we get the tired patter about how anyone can go home and one bad dance could put a nail in a celebrity’s dancing career coffin or some other weirdly mixed metaphor that makes sense if you don’t think about it too much. This week, Tom mentions that one couple was shocked by their crap dance, so he asks us if lightning strike again. Okay, I take that back about making sense if you don’t think about it too much. I really think they should just ask Tom to wing it through the intros, because even on a moment’s notice he’s still a hell of a lot pithier than the show’s writers.

[Full recap of Tuesday's (May 3) "Dancing with the Stars" results after the break...]
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<p>Chord Overstreet and Dianna Agron of 'Glee'</p>

Chord Overstreet and Dianna Agron of 'Glee'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Glee' - 'Rumours'

A Fleetwood Mac-inspired episode starts strong but loses its way

OK, now this? THIS? This should have been the 90-minute episode of “Glee.” Last week’s entry “Born This Way” was overlong, undercooked, and designed primarily to hurt the premiere of “The Voice” rather than show scenes that simply couldn’t land on the cutting room floor. Now, in saying that “Rumours” should have been the extended episode doesn’t mean the hour was flawless by any means. But it had enough good ideas that it could have used the extra breathing room in order to flesh them out.

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<p>Scott Patterson of 'The Event'</p>

Scott Patterson of 'The Event'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'The Event' - 'Us or Them'

The flu takes flight and one character makes a heroic, dangerous choice

And then there was another episode.

It’s hard to believe that there is so very little time left in the first (and likely last) season of “The Event.” This week’s installment, “Us of Them,” seems to consciously avoid any effort to build momentum or ramp up the action. Instead of watching our heroes perform the badass deeds we expect of an end game, we watch them develop an under-cooked love story. We watch them find the bad guy...but then not really. They quarantine an airplane...but then not really. What we really watch them do is kill time, and little else. I’m forced to assume that poor reception and terrible ratings have forced the writers to abort most of what they had planned for the inaugural season, because this simply cannot be all that they had planned, right?

I feel bad continuing to take potshots at a series that has clearly had everything possible go wrong for it, but at the same time no show, with this few episodes remaining, should be this much of a chore to sit through.

[Full recap of Monday’s (May 2) “The Event” after the break...]

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<p>Kisha and Jen of 'The Amazing Race'</p>

Kisha and Jen of 'The Amazing Race'

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'The Amazing Race' - 'Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen'

Tensions rise over chocolate gnomes before a rules-bending conclusion
I'm one of those guys who watches sporting events and yells at the TV as if the little men trapped inside the screen not only can hear me, but would follow my advice after hearing my obscenity-filled words of wisdom.
 
I yell at football players to tackle better. I yell at basketball players to recognize when they have a man open at the three-point line. I yell at baseball players to have better strike-zone recognition. And I yell at hockey players because I have absolutely no idea what's going on in a typical game of hockey.
 
Sunday (May 1) night's episode of "The Amazing Race" found me bellowing at my Slingbox and using words that would earn a TV-MA rating, which isn't unusual. The unusual part was that I was yelling aggressively for one team to cheat, just so that they could incur a penalty and go home. Thus, in my mind, I wasn't rooting for poor sportsmanship. I was rooting for an excuse to see good sportsmanship rewarded.
 
Much of this "Amazing Race" season has been so sluggish and sterile, it was a pleasure to have a reason to cheer.
 
Full recap of Sunday's gratify episode after the break...
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<p>Kevin Corrigan and Anna Torv of 'Fringe'</p>

Kevin Corrigan and Anna Torv of 'Fringe'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'Fringe' - 'The Last Sam Weiss'

Walter and Astrid struggle to revive Peter, while a familiar figure aids Olivia

There’s a link between the way that prophecies tend to work on scripted shows and the act of actually scripting said shows. Both have long-term goals that tend to get muddied up when put into actual practice. In the case of “Fringe,” it’s tempting to see everything laid out tonight as the summation of all that’s come before it. It’s also tempting to see it as one hell of a clever retcon, taking bits and pieces of all that’s come before it and shape it into the slick Frankenstein monster you watched tonight.

Personally, I could care less which way it actually occurred. You hear enough about showrunners and their long-term plans, and most of it’s just baloney. The proof’s in the pudding, or in this case, the interdimensionally charged electro-pudding. And “The Last Sam Weiss” was pretty delicious pudding.

[Full recap of Friday's (April 29) "Fringe" after the break...]

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<p>A pretty shot of Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley from 'The Vampire Diaries'</p>

A pretty shot of Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley from 'The Vampire Diaries'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'The Vampire Diaries' - 'The Last Day'

Klaus is ready for his ritual to begin – but will he be derailed?

This is going to be an episode of big, big changes. And I’m pretty sure not all of these changes are going to be happy ones. But that’s okay, because when there’s not enough drama on the show we tend to see a lot of Stefan and Elena making out, which is about as sexy as watching the neighborhood cats going at it. What can I say? I’m a Damon fan. Anyway, let’s get to it, after the break...

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<p>Scotty McCreery of 'American Idol'</p>

Scotty McCreery of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' Results - Top 5 Revealed

Bruno Mars and Crystal Bowersox perform before the latest elimination

Welcome, friends, to the most NFL Draft-astic "American Idol" results show yet. Am I more interested in Thursday's (April 28) Draft than the "Idol" elimination? Yes. But fortunately, the only event in the entire world with more filler than an "American Idol" results show is the NFL Draft.

Click through for the full "Idol" recap...

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<p>Alexandria and a camel of 'America's Next Top Model'</p>

Alexandria and a camel of 'America's Next Top Model'

Credit: The CW

Recap: 'America's Next Top Model' in Morocco - 'Franca Sozzani'

The remaining models head to Morocco and get to know Marrakech

Between garbage-themed shoots and Alexandria’s trash talk, thinks are getting rotten here on Cycle 16 of "America’s Next Top Model". Here’s a theme for you: Recycling! Forget Molly and Brittani and “fiercely real” token fatty Kasia! Bring back Ann Ward from the last season! Now there was a classy broad. No complaints about pigeons! No meltdowns during panel! No horrific weaves! Come back, 2010, come back!

[Full recap of Wednesday's (April 27) "Top Model" after the break...]
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<p>This if Matt of &quot;Survivor: Redemption Island.&quot; God has a plan for him.</p>

This if Matt of "Survivor: Redemption Island." God has a plan for him.

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Survivor: Redemption Island' - 'A Mystery Package'

Will a twist impact the annihilation of the Zapatera tribe?
Pre-credit sequence. Murlonio arrives back at camp after last week's Tribal Council, which was so eventful that I only remember the lectures on race relations and I'd completely forgotten that Julie was sent to Redemption Island. Steve approaches Phillip and extends a really insincere olive branch. Steve doesn't apologize, but he also says Phillip doesn't need to apologize either. That, by the way, is almost identical to the way Segregation ended in the South. "I felt it was a little self-serving," Phillip says, figuring that Steve will be targeted next. For his part, Steve is disappointed that he had to reach out to Phillip and not the other way around. "I'm just gonna keep plugging away," Steve says, hoping that Boston Rob may decide to cut Phillip loose next. Yeah. No. "Phillip's not going anywhere. Phillip's under my protection. As long as he keeps up his stupid antics, he'll be coming with me all the way to the Finals," Rob says.
 
Full recap of Wednesday's (April 27) episode after the break...
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<p>'Biggest Loser' host Alison Sweeney judges on Wednesday's 'Top Chef Masters'</p>

'Biggest Loser' host Alison Sweeney judges on Wednesday's 'Top Chef Masters'

Credit: Bravo

Recap: 'Top Chef Masters' - 'Biggest Loser'

One chef lectures the judges – and pays a price for it

This week, the chefs are facing a low-cal dining challenge, which doesn’t seem that challenging to me. I mean, if Applebee’s can pump out low-cal meals that may or may not taste like crap and/or be miniature food (anyone who can weigh in, feel free), I would hope that very skilled master chefs would be able to do the same. The contestants from “The Biggest Loser” will be on hand to sample the meals, which should be a treat for them as no one will be screaming at them to do push ups until they vomit. Hopefully.

[Full recap of Wednesday's (April 27)  "Top Chef Masters" after the break...]
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