Recapping Television's Hottest Shows with Monkeys as Critics
Walter and Peter race against time to help Olivia return to her own mind
There’s a great passage in the recent Chuck Klosterman book “Eating the Dinosaur” about the movie “Vertigo.” In arguing why the movie is so compelling to viewers, he states, "Some might argue that Novak becomes interesting because the watcher can project whatever he desires onto her form, but that's not really what happens; what happens is that she becomes interesting simply because it's interesting not to know things." The emphasis is his, and I think it applies to my reaction to tonight’s episode of “Fringe.” To think about “Lysergic Acid Diethylamide” is to think about the ways in which the show can move forward, both in this season and beyond.
[Full recap of Friday's (April 15) "Fringe" after the break...]
Itâ€™s a battle to the death between Bonnie and Klausâ€¦ or is it?
If tonight’s episode gives you a creeping sense of déjà vu, for once it’s not just another pesky “Twilight” flashback. As we now know, Klaus is inhabiting Alaric’s body. For those keeping score from home, that means we have Elena and Katherine (same actress) and Klaus/Alaric (same actor). Is “Vampire Diaries” low on funds or just ideas? Oddly enough, Klaus/Alaric’s vaguely European accent pretty much disappears after the first scene for no particular reason. But he still calls Katherine "Katarina," so I guess that passes for an accent on the CW.
[Full recap of Thursday's (April 14) "The Vampire Diaries" after the break...]
Rihanna and Kelly Clarkson drop by before the latest elimination
It's Elimination Thursday for "American Idol." Somebody's going home. I can't really predict who it's going to be, though I said "Paul McDonald," because you've gotta say something. Between absentee judges and a lack of truly awful performances, we could be headed for another surprise. Or the "American Idol" voters may just eliminate another woman, in which case Haley Reinhart is probably doomed.
Click through for my recap of the proceedings... It's sure to be fun!
Rob tightens his grip as two Tribal Councils loom
Pre-credit sequence. Matt returns to Redemption Island. I might be amused. You might be amused. Matt is not amused. "First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate myself on being the most naive person ever to play the game of 'Survivor,'" Matt grumbles. "I can't believe I got blindsided twice by the same people," the clearly irate King of Redemption whines. Matt doesn't understand why God wanted him back on Redemption Island. "I trust you that this is your will, you using my stupidity for your glory," Matt tells God. I suspect God's all, "Sorry. Earthquakes. Chilean miners. Double rainbows. Baseball season. Then I'll catch up with 'Survivor' on my DVR..." God, however, does not get a "Survivor" talking head.
Full recap of Wednesday's (April 13) "Survivor: Redemption Island" after the break...]
One chef drops out, another comes back and a third is crowded out
It’s “Top Chef Masters” time, and I’m really ready for the chefs to stop playing nice and start slinging a little mud and throwing diva-esque temper tantrums. So far it’s been altogether too polite for a reality TV show, and while the food is probably outrageously good and we can’t expect chefs of this caliber to steal recipes or toss knives at one another, it’s getting a little dull, like watching a cooking show hosted by an NPR newscaster or Chris O’Donnell.
But wait! Drama! Oh, wait, that’s just the music, it’s not actually a big deal; it just sounds like one. John Rivera Sedlar has had to drop out due to an emergency. Naomi doesn’t care, because that’s one less slab of human meat she’ll need to slice her way through to get the finish line. I have high hopes for Naomi, because she’s either going to have a meltdown or her own or drive another chef to one with her hypercompetitive streak. Anyway, Hugh Acheson comes back to take John Sedlar’s place. John Currence is glad he’s back, because they’re drinking buddies. I’m glad he’s back because he was kind of funny and not just because of the monobrow.
[Full recap of Wednesday's (April 13) "Top Chef Masters" after the break...]
Tyra Banks teaches the girls about portfolios and they pose at a landfill
Another week, another opportunity for high drama here at Cycle 16 of "America’s Next Top Model." Like a cockroach, Alexandria survives still, even after the nuclear meltdown she caused by way of archenemy Brittani. Before Brittani’s dressing down at the last panel, she was a model to beat in this competition. But at this moment, stealthy competitors such as Kasia are starting to look pretty darned good over here.
[Full recap of Wednesday's (April 13) "America's Next Top Model" after the break...]
Casey and James defy Jimmy Iovine and one singer actually gets criticized
In case you've forgotten, Pia Toscano was eliminated on last week's "American Idol." Don't worry, "American Idol" isn't going to let you forget.
But how will last week's shocking results impact Wednesday's (April 13) show? What will the blowback be? Can we expect a newly feisty judging panel, ready and eager to voice their criticisms? Can we expect an judging Affirmative Action program to protect the endangered species known as the "American Idol" female?
Click through to find out...
A top contender lands in the final three in a surprising elimination
Oh yay, it’s elimination time. This is depressing for several reasons, not the least of which is that this is an hour of our lives we can never get back, although I guess that matters less if you’re like the morbidly obese guy who sat on his sofa for so long he grew into it and had to be removed by medical professionals. I’m guessing TV was kind of it for him. On the bright side, we can all be happy we’re not him, even if the Tuesday episodes of “DWTS” may make us feel a little like him. Thanks, ABC?
[Full recap of Tuesday's (April 12) "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...]
A new star takes the lead and another one has a dance floor snafu
So, if we are to believe all the helpful ABC promos, tonight the Humiliating of Kirstie continues, which sounds like a TV movie you’d see on Lifetime and actually has all the components for it. There’s the charming but chubby lead, the dashing but surly love interest and the disaster from which our plucky gal can rise above. I expect Kirstie to be selling the film rights any day. It can’t be any worse than “Fat Actress.”
[Full recap of Monday's (April 11) "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...]
The teams seek wisdom and play with manure in India
Many viewers felt like last "Amazing Race" season, in lieu of anything else of interest to recommend it, spent perhaps too much time hammering home the potential significance of a win by an all-female team.
For fans with that sort of hypersensitivity, alarms may have gone off when, at the start of Sunday (April 10) night's "Amazing Race," Mallory expressed an earnest excitement about the possibility of becoming the first parent-child team to win. This wasn't the first time we've heard this possibility mentioned, especially since the season started with four parent-child teams out of 11. But Mel & Mike went out early and Luke & Margie went out in the last new episode, which only aired two weeks ago, though I had totally forgotten about it until the pre-credits recap.
That left Gary & Mallory and Ron & Christina carrying the banner for fathers and daughters.
Was Mallory's comment a piece of earnest foreshadowing? A piece of ironic foreshadowing? Or a piece of misdirection?
Click through for a somewhat quick recap of Sunday's "Amazing Race" episode, which wasn't exactly a bad one, but also failed to generate any real excitement...