'Top Chef' guest judges Telly, Cookie Monster and Elmo

Credit: Bravo

I am so glad it’s time for another edition of “Top Chef,” because I’ve had the “Beef Tongue” song on a loop in my head for the last seven days and I’m hoping this episode will force it out once and for all. As long as it isn’t replaced by Fabio repeating the word “hambooger” over and over again, I’ll be happy.

A group sings on Wednesday's 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

It's time for our second "American Idol" episode from Hollywood Week.

Last Thursday, we re-met all of the same people we met in the audition rounds. 

Will Wednesday's (Feb. 15) episode showcase some fresh faces? Click through to find out...

Chord Overstreet of 'Glee'

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX

Is it really a surprise that this week’s “Glee” was a pale imitation of the great one that aired at roughly the same time last week? Of course not. “Glee” isn’t written so much as concocted by a few writers that approach the show in much the same way that amateur cooks would in creating a new stew on a weekly basis. The basic ingredients that go into said stew might not be bad on their own. Some of them might even be pretty tasty. But there’s no thought process about how those ingredients go together. Occasionally, the mix produces brilliant results. But since these would-be Iron Chefs didn’t bother to write down the recipe that produced a winning meal, they are unable to replicate the process after tasting success.

[Full recap of Tuesday's (Feb. 15) "Glee" after the break...]

Russell Brand

Credit: Matt Sayles/AP

Well, usually the third episode of “Saturday Night Live” in a row without a break signals a weak effort. The strain of producing the show non-stop for that long tends to produce a subpar episode. But throwing Russell Brand into that third slot? Well, color me more intrigued. Will giving him a live stage upon which to perform yield buzzworthy television? And what will have to say, if anything, about beleaguered musical guest Chris Brown? Let’s just establish this right now: if that combination of guest host and musical act can’t provide at least a few memorable moments tonight, then the show’s no longer allowed to put on three consecutive episodes.

Agreed? Whew. Glad we got this settled in a way that is easily applicable and enforceable. Yea internets! As always, I’ll be grading each segment live, as they happen. Put on your skinny jeans and let’s do this, people.

Anna Torv

Credit: FOX

It’s a week later, and I’m still not sure quite how to feel about the revelations in the end of last week’s episode of “Fringe.” But the follow-up installment, “Immortality,” certainly indicates that this new direction will be followed through for the rest of the season. And if the fate of the two universes coming down to essentially the most dramatic rose ceremony ever bothers you, then the revelation of Fauxlivia’s pregnancy probably made you perfectly apoplectic. (And perhaps alliterative, as well.)

[Full recap of Friday's (Feb. 11) "Fringe" after the break...]

 Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley of 'The Vampire Diaries'

Credit: The CW

I guess the werewolves who survived last week’s bloodbath are hiding in the woods, crying for kibble and looking into open dog positions. Or at least that’s what any werewolf who doesn’t have a speaking part in this episode should consider doing, because they’re probably going to last as long as a nameless red shirt on the Star Trek Enterprise. Anyway, that hot lupine couple Jules and Brady aren’t going down without a fight. Well, okay, another fight. They want that moonstone and they want it now!

Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson of 'American Idol'

Credit: Michael Becker/FOX

We've survived seven episodes of auditions and if we scratch our heads and think really hard, we may even remember a few of the better contestants who shared their sob stories with us.

But now, it's the start of the Hollywood Round, when the scores can really change...

Click through...

Farewell to Paula Abdul's 'Live to Dance' and Paula Abdul's happy clap

Credit: CBS

AAAH! It’s the finals of “Live to Dance”! Someone’s life will be FOREVER CHANGED! Okay, I get it, someone’s going to get some money. And half of it will go to taxes. And once they divide it among everyone in the act (assuming the winner isn’t Kendall Glover, the one solo dancer), then get a new car and a sofa and maybe a nice vacation, that will take care of the rest of it. Especially if the Vibe, the troupe of 38 dancers, wins. They may just want to leave their checks at the studio.

'Top Chef' judges Jimmy Fallon and Padma Lakshmi 

Credit: Bravo

I love it when “Top Chef: All Stars” kicks things off by showing that, as much as we hope it’s just one big happy family of chefs on this show, some of the culinary divas kind of quietly hate one another. Case in point: Mike and Antonia. Mike can’t bring himself to congratulate Antonia on winning last week’s challenge with mussels. It’s a French dish! Well, French or not, the judges clearly liked it a whole lot more than Mike’s underdone pasta. Mike, clearly, is a sore, pouty loser. So we get to see Antonia and Mike quietly snipe at one another while Fabio tries to lighten the mood in his distinctly happy, Fabio way. It’s kind of like sitting down at another family’s uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner or watching “The Real Housewives of Something Or Other.” Except I don’t think those women can cook. They’re too flammable.