This is it, y’all. We made it to the mid-season finale! After tonight it will be farewell until after the first of the year. So let’s squeeze ever last insane drop out of “The Akeda,” like a giant shake’n’bake of mythology and history.
Abbie and Ichabod have the sword of Methuselah, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse have Moloch. Who will triumph?
Thunder and lightning greet the audience to let us know things are about to Get Real™. Ichabod and Abbie are headed straight to Fredrick’s Manor with the sword, because time is of the essence. Henry has blown the horn to signal the rise of Moloch.
I kind of wonder what the range on that thing is? All across the tri-state area, the top news story tonight is about the strange trumpeting sound being reported by hundreds of people. More at 11.
Ichabod is giving directions the old-fashioned way, and a good thing too, because no sooner has Abbie derided his ye olden ways than lightning STRIKES THE CAR and shorts out the GPS. But doesn’t electrify them? Undeterred, they push the car — I assume since there’s no tow truck in sight — to a local gas station but BAM! Lightning strikes again, shorting out all the lights and making repairs impossible. Thor really wants Ragnarok to happen, you guys.
Being an officer of the law, Abbie steals…commandeers…a motorcycle while the repairman fades into the mist of Tertiary Characters. We learn Abbie had a motorcycle as a teen and there is no way the lightning can short it out since it has no electrical parts. She’s right, but I mean…it could still just strike them dead on the spot, right? Third time’s the charm, after all.
Except tonight. Our heroes arrive on the scene and Crane adorably proclaims, “I want one of these as soon as this is over!” It’s like a horse, but without all the manure and getting kicked in the stomach!
With no time to spare on fripperies like “reconnaissance,” Crane and Mills burst into the Manor. Lucky for them, it’s been abandoned. Or unlucky, since Abbie went through all that effort to upgrade from a handgun to a sub-machine gun. All that remains in the house is Henry’s tiny Quasimodo replica of Sleepy Hollow, complete with suspicious markers. A few bits of red string later and Henry’s evil plan becomes clear: he had to draw a pentagram and/or pentacle over the city! That bastard? To what purpose remains a mystery.
Ichabod manages to shoehorn in a reference to George Washington’s Bible and how a demon will rain Hell on Earth. Everyone keeps assuming this demon is Moloch, but considering we’re two Horseman shy of an Apocalypse, this seems like premature Armageddon.
Katrina’s screams keep anyone in-universe from putting two and two together though. Ichabod and Abbie rush outside to stop the binding ritual. Katrina is all tied up and the boys are gonna fight over her. Do we really have time for this? Shouldn’t “You stole my girl!” be third tier concerns right now?
Crane gets the better of his former friend and Death is down for the count. Ichabod is seconds away from skewering Abraham when he hesitates. Just standing there. Dude, no. The pointy end goes into his fleshy bits. It’s not hard.
Oh, apparently our heroes need to know where Moloch has gone and Death is the only one who knows. I mean, it’s not like he’d be in the center of the pentagram drawn over the city. Or like they have a witch who could perform a tracking spell. Nope. They only have a witch who can expand her illusion so we can all hear Abraham talk. Sigh.
Once Abraham properly has his head again, he wastes no time in throwing a wrench into everyone’s plan. “All magic has a cost,” he says. Calm down, Rumpelstiltskin. But he’s right. The sword of Methuselah demands a sacrifice. In order to wield the power to destroy demons, in return the sword kills the man who wields it and takes his soul.
Ichabod is suspicious because it seems too convenient. I am suspicious because I’ve seen “Lord of the Rings.” In a group consisting mostly of XX chromosomes, surely this is an “I AM NO MAN” scenario?
While the Scooby gang looks into the veracity of Death’s claims, they decide to take him back as a hostage. Now Katrina is tying up Abraham….how the tables have turned. Ichabod and Abbie discuss the strain on the Crane marriage and if it can withstand everything it has been through. Considering Katrina is properly Stockholm Syndrome’d? I’m gonna go with no. Regardless, they leave the former kidnap victim alone to interrogate her captor. This should go great.
Red lightning flashes over the cabin, signaling Moloch has leveled up. Jenny meets up with the heroes with bad news. Death wasn’t lying. The sword will definitely murder any man who uses it. But wait? Didn’t Methuselah kill thousands of demons? Is there a Fill Meter on the blade or something? How do you know when the sword is coming to collect?
But Genre Savvy Jenny has a plan. The sword can’t consume the soul of someone who doesn’t possess one. Someone like Captain Frank Irving. Now they just need to find him.
Meanwhile, Henry and New Dad are having bonding experience, chatting about complex modern family dynamics, raising Purgatory into the plane of the living…you know, normal blended family stuff. Henry basically says “You’re so much cooler than my real dad. He never let’s me do anything fun.”
Armed with knowledge that the sword is a tricky shit, Ichabod goes to retrieve his wife. But Katrina is too good at her femme fatale schtick, as evidenced by even her husband believing she truly still has feelings for the Headless Horseman. Tensions run high as Ichabod asks if Katrina would have the stones to kill Henry to get to Moloch, because it might (definitely) come to that. Katrina is still Team Delusional and fails the test utterly. Rather than face reality, Mrs. Crane opts to stay and “interrogate” Abraham further.
Ichabod is forced to return to the cabin empty handed. He rages a bit at the unfairness of being forced to murder his own son, tying it in to the story of Abraham and Isaac. Abbie points out that Isaac was an innocent child, not a murderous Horseman of the Apocalypse. Mills is still solidly Team Common Frickin’ Sense.
Jenny saves everything from getting too philosophical by pulling up the voicemail Irving left when he abandoned her near the Canadian border. At the end, he leaft a series of numbers. A code! It’s a date. September 23, 1780. Is everyone in this universe a history buff and if so, how do I get there because MY PEOPLE!