It's weeks like this one when I wish I had Time Warner cable. Without a way to watch CBS, I would be spared the sheer frustration of "Big Brother" when monsters embed themselves in the house like nasty, vindictive termites. I guess I could be sanguine about episodes like this one, and remind myself that sometimes bad behavior gets rewarded and even crappy people can have good luck. But that doesn't make me want to toss my remote control into traffic any less.
This week I decided to check the Interwebs find out what was happening in the Big Brother house, and though that spoiled any element of surprise for tonight's show, it was worth it. Given this week's double competition -- half of it dedicated to bringing a jury member back to the show, the other half set to determine who would be HoH -- I felt it was better to be prepared.
Well, we can pretty much check out for at least half of this episode, as we all know what's going to happen, don't we? Helen is the target, and no amount of wheedling or crying is likely to save her. Well, unless another hamster throws his or her sound pack or tries to drown McCranda in the bathtub. That sounds tempting, but alas, unlikely.
While Aaryn may be HoH this week, let's face it: the house belongs to McCranda. Actually, let's be honest. The house belongs to Amanda, who apparently has all the hamsters under her sway like the Evil Queen on "Once Upon A Time." If this were a fairy tale, of course, Amanda would end up bursting into flames or having her heart ripped out. Alas, it isn't going to happen. But that would be killer ratings, CBS, so don't rule it out!
I am already sick of hearing the announcer saying 3 a.m. That's all.
Anyway, most of this episode is dedicated to Amanda acting smug, Amanda whining to McCrae, and Amanda gloating over how well she's running the house. I'm not sure why everyone is so happy to let one half of a showmance dictate every move on the show, given that the other players might have a shot at making a final two deal with anyone else, but I guess Amanda's bullying persona has somehow clicked with the rest of the players. I'm wondering if she's worn down the hamsters with her throaty smoker's voice yelling or if they're so tired of her they just want to give up. I will say McCrae has the glassy-eyed stare of a man who's seen too much.
It's time for an elimination, and unfortunately the whole CBS/Time Warner nonsense has forced Dan to recruit me for Thursday. Before we begin, send good thoughts his way. A day without CBS and its affiliate stations is, in many ways, like a day without sunshine. Or at least an evening without "Big Brother." Or something.
It's hard for me to believe, but Amanda has somehow morphed from a fun, occasionally charming presence in the house to an entirely annoying, bullying monster -- and it looks like she's calling all the shots. As one half of McCranda (a two-headed creature that occasionally bickers with itself), she has no problem pouting, coercing and letting personal vendettas rule her decision-making. I'd call this bad game play if it wasn't proving itself so effective.
I never thought we'd reach this part of the competition and Gina Marie, Amanda AND Aaryn would still be in the race. But, go figure. Candice and Judd were sent packing on Thursday, and we're now left with a smattering of smart power players, bullies, floaters, idiots and racists (some contestants, of course, fall into multiple categories). Yay!
I have no clue what has happened on "Big Brother" in the past week, thanks to Time Warner Cable and CBS.
From reading Liane's recaps, I know that Amanda, Spencer and Candice are on the block and from various bits of online scuttlebutt, I know that Amanda has basically gone crazy, while Spencer has continued his long run of variably horrifying comments that CBS is choosing not to air.
And from last week, I remember that it's a double-elimination Thursday (August 8), with the regular vote, as well as the always-unsettling Week of "Big Brother" in an Hour wackiness.
Follow along! And forgive me if I lack the con text for certain things. Blame CBS and Time Warner.
To all of you who are Time Warner Cable customers, I want to send you my sympathies (no Showtime? No CBS? What the hell?) and promise I will do my best to unravel the mess that is this night's episode of hamster meltdown. May the CBS app be with you!
We kick things off with Gina Marie reveling in her HoH status, which means she hasn't tried writing her HoH blog just yet. Apparently, this enterprise caused her to weep bitterly, knowing that the general public would discover she's mostly illiterate. If it makes her feel any better, I think we all had an inkling. Anyway, she lures the hamsters she's just insulted into her room as flip-flopping pond scum in order to make nice. She tries to assure Jessie she's not the target, because being the pawn is SO much safer. Gina Marie promises her that her door is always open, as if she's 7-11 or possibly a paid escort. The good news is that, when Gina Marie gets voted out and discovers she's unemployed, she definitely could have a future in customer service.