<p>What? You wanted her to be a good person, TOO?</p>

What? You wanted her to be a good person, TOO?

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Wednesday Results - The first hamster scurries home

Who would be this season's first contestant to meet Julie Chen?
Hi all! Dan here. I'll be doing the "Big Brother" results shows this season. Wednesday tonight and then Thursday for the rest of the summer.
 
OK, since you asked, here's my problem with "Big Brother," hamster bigotry, live feeds and CBS:
 
The people passing around petitions trying to get various houseguests removed from the show are silly. Unless Aaryn wins the prize, "Big Brother" is doing far more harm than good for the smoking hot, xenophobic homophobe. She's been fired by her modeling company and she will return to a world in which most reasonable people know that she's disgusting and ignorant. For the rest of her life, when future employers Google her, guess what will come up? Exactly. And it's not like she's espousing reasonable conservative-leaning positions on things. She's just a bigot. So that'll be hard to defend going forward. Ditto with the rest of the stupidity spewing from the various hamsters. [This is me being naive, I understand. CBS not only covered up Jeff Schroeder's gay slurs, but they employed him again on both "Big Brother" and then "The Amazing Race" and only a few disgruntled people said a word. I like to believe there's a paper trail. I fear it's not as easy to follow as it should be.]
 
What bothers me, though, is actually on a practical game-play level. Various hamsters are saying nasty things, but they're only being heard on the live-feed. If you watched only the "Big Brother" telecast, you'd think the hamsters were dumb -- M-O-O-N, as Dave would spell it -- but I wouldn't have any idea that they were also just fundamentally bad people, many of them. And CBS' condemnation of what's being said is, of course, comically inadequate and disingenuous. Fine. But CBS and "Big Brother" have added a twist this year in which America is voting for a weekly MVP and that MVP has an awful lot of power in the House. And since most of America doesn't watch live-feeds or read blogs or other stuff, most of America is voting based on a sample that is skewed by CBS' editing. Editing always will shape out perception of "real" people on reality shows, but in this case, CBS and the "Big Brother" editors are actively impacting the results of the show. America is voting on the MVP because of a perception of the hamsters based on editing decisions and if they're not being given full information on the hamsters they're voting for, their vote and, by extension, the results of the show have been permanently manipulated. If one of the bigots wins this season and an MVP-related decision leads to the eviction of any of the few acceptable houseguests, I'd get out and sue CBS and "Big Brother" promptly for playing a direct role, through editing, in a competition they claim isn't rigged. 
 
With that rant out of the way... I'll be recapping Wednesday's results in my usual live-blog form after the break...
 
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"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

'Big Brother' recap: It's all about the veto competition

Elissa thinks she's made a friend, but McCrae stabs her in the back

So, one thing we do know about tonight's episode is we won't be seeing all the racist, homophobic, crappy things the hamsters are saying on the life feed. This is probably for the best, as we don't want to make knee jerk judgments against hamsters because they're making knee jerk judgments. The good news is that for some of the hamsters, their ignorance isn't simply limited to ridiculous and random hatred based on skin color and sexual orientation. No, some of these people can't spell. At all. For that, we can roll our eyes at the very least. 

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"Big Brother"

 "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

'Big Brother' recap: The first unlucky hamsters face eviction

The Have Nots get what may be the worst room ever

Showmances start to blossom tonight! Julie Chen said so, so you know it's the truth. I'm pretty sure one of the showmances has to involve David, as he isn't about to let his extremely poofy hair go to waste. 

Sidebar: McCrae looks better dripping wet after being splattered with paint than he does dry and fluffy, honestly. That hair really isn't working for him, Secret Tech Giant or whatever the hell he is. I really can't imagine he's simply a pizza guy.

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10 Best Sketches of 'Saturday Night Live' Season 38
Credit: NBC

10 Best Sketches of 'Saturday Night Live' Season 38

Ex-porn stars, Bill Hader's farewell, Christoph Waltz as Djesus, and more
Last week, HitFix broke down the worst ten moments of the thirty-eighth season of “Saturday Night Live.” This week, we’re ending on a high note by looking at the absolute best of the past year. While this wasn’t a strong season on the whole, there were still plenty of amazing moments strewn throughout. Some of what follows are 
individual sketches. Some are overall trends. All represent “SNL” operating at its peak.


Check out our picks for the ten best here:

10 Worst Sketches of 'Saturday Night Live' Season 38
Credit: NBC

10 Worst Sketches of 'Saturday Night Live' Season 38

We’ll reveal the ten best next week

With the thirty-eighth season of “Saturday Night Live” in the books, it’s time to look back at the highlights as well as lowlights of the season that was. These represent not just the best/worst sketches, but also moments/trends throughout the season. This should help present a better picture of the show as it recharges its batteries over the summer months. Today, we’ll be looking at the ten worst things about this season. Next week, we’ll look at the ten best.

Check out our picks for the ten worst here:

Ben Affleck, Kanye West, and Fred Armisen

Ben Affleck, Kanye West, and Fred Armisen

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' – Ben Affleck And Kanye West

The "Argo" actor/director joins the Five-Timers Club in the season finale.
We’re here at the end of another season of “Saturday Night Live,” and just like last season, there are changes afoot. This will be Bill Hader’s last show. Seth Meyers will leave the show at the end of the calendar year in order to take over the post-“The Tonight Show” slot. Both Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis are rumored to also be leaving? To which I say: awesome. That doesn’t take away anything from what these four have brought to the table. But change is the lifeblood of the show, and no single person is ever truly irreplaceable. In fact, having Meyers leave might be the shot in the arm this show really needs. While its easy to point to onscreen talent as the cause for any woes the show has had this season, it all boils down to the writing. If that’s not up to snuff, no amount of comedic talent in front of the camera can overcome that. If Meyers’ departure shakes up the writer’s room dynamic, and allows new voices to emerge, it might be just what the doctor ordered for the slightly ailing “SNL”.
 
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Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen

Kristen Wiig And Fred Armisen

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' – Kristen Wiig and Vampire Weekend

The former "SNL" great returns to host for the first time.

There’s no way to write about the history of “Saturday Night Live” without including Kristen Wiig. Her overall place in that story is for individuals to decide, but to remove her from the conversation betrays a fundamental misreading of her overall importance to the history of the show. From 2005-2012, she quickly rose from “solid ensemble performer” to “the absolutely go to person week in and week out”. For her last few years, she was the center of the program, carrying the biggest workload and often getting the biggest laughs. The sheer number of characters that she created, the professionalism and integrity that she brought to each show, and the way she helped the show survive the loss of such female “SNL” standouts such as Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph cannot be overstated.

 
And yet her returning tonight might still be a disaster of epic proportions.
 
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Zach Galifianakis and Jason Sudeikis

Zach Galifianakis and Jason Sudeikis

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' – Zach Galifianakis and Of Monsters and Men

Is the third time hosting the show the charm for the star of "The Hangover Part III"?
Tonight marks the third time that Zach Galifianakis has hosted “Saturday Night Live,” with each of his prior appearances coming in solid if non-classic installments. Aside from Jason Sudeikis, there are few remaining cast members with whom Galifianakis has extensive sketch experience. That means there’s plenty of opportunities for new combinations onscreen tonight for the bearded member of “The Hangover”’s Wolf Pack. The two constants in his first two outings: a pre-corded sketch involving a dramatic piano theme, plus a bizarre shaving ritual just before the final sketch. He’s already shaved his beard and head on “SNL”: what’s left?
 
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<p>Kevin Bacon of &quot;The Following&quot;</p>

Kevin Bacon of "The Following"

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'The Following' Finale - 'Final Chapter'

After this finale, will you be saying "Nevermore"?
The best part of this episode -- "Final Chapter" -- is Claire frankly telling Joe that his writing sucks. I mean -- YEAH OF COURSE IT DOES! -- but considering that the writers of "The Following" are the ones writing Joe's novel, it's strangely self-critical to have another character point out that the plot, like, you know, totally reeks. Self-critical, but also hilarious. Joe raving to Claire that the lighthouse is A MOTIF and trying to defend his narrative linking of his character and Ryan's characters through the love triangle with Claire is quite funny, except when you realize that if even the writers of "The Following" think that their endgame is a silly, tired plot, then that means no one, anywhere finds this gory, horrific cliffhanger compelling in the least.
 
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From Timberlake to Kroll - Actors we'd love to see join 'Saturday Night Live'

From Timberlake to Kroll - Actors we'd love to see join 'Saturday Night Live'

Some realistic and unrealistic options to reinvigorate the 'SNL' cast

As we come to the close of another season of “Saturday Night Live,” it’s time to think ahead to what changes will happen in the show’s cast when it returns for its thirty-ninth season this Fall. While Lorne Michaels traditionally likes to draw nationally unknown talent from the nation’s top improv troupes, is it time for him to think about drawing from a better-known pool of talent? After all, there is precedent for this in the show’s history, even if Michaels himself wasn’t involved in bringing in cast members such as Christopher Guest and Billy Crystal.

Looking at already-known actors might seem counterintuitive, and logistically implausible. But let’s imagine that a full season commitment wouldn’t be necessary. Imagine if intermittent stints on the show were allowed, providing a constantly rotating pool of talent that would not only provide comedic depth and breadth for the show, but also make each installment unique unto itself? Let’s look at some names that might fit the bill, looking at the likelihood they would be good full-time participants or simply part-time players.