<p>Sayid (Naveen Andrews) auditions for his new ABC spin-off 'America's Deadliest Home Improvements' on this week's episode of 'Lost'</p>

Sayid (Naveen Andrews) auditions for his new ABC spin-off 'America's Deadliest Home Improvements' on this week's episode of 'Lost'

Credit: Mario Perez/ABC

Recap: 'Lost' #510 - 'He's Our You' Sayid's long dark night of the soul

One of the oldest paradoxes in time travel is brought to life this week

Excuse me for posting this recap in the morning instead of last night, but as I went to sleep for a few hours, I was still thinking about the episode.  It's not my favorite of the season by any means, but it's one that demanded a little extra reflection.

One of the most difficult things about an ensemble show like "Lost" is making sure that every character is well-served, and as much as I love "Lost," it doesn't always pull off that task as well as it should.  If there's any character out of the main ensemble who feels adrift most often, it would be Sayid Jarrah, played by the unflappably cool Naveen Andrews.

Traditionally, whenever there is nasty work to be done, Sayid is the character that the show turns to, drawing on his past with the Republican Guard in Iraq as justification for letting him do what no one else will.  This week, all of that nasty seems to catch up to Sayid, and the entire episode essentially becomes one man's struggle between the devil and the angel on his shoulders, leading to one of the season's best endings, a moment that perfectly dramatizes one of the oldest questions people ask about time travel.

"If you had a time machine, would you go back to when Hitler was a kid and kill him before he ever got started?"

[more after the jump]

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<p>Celia the Rat of 'America's Next Top Model'</p>

Celia the Rat of 'America's Next Top Model'

Credit: Jim DeYonker/Pottle Productions Inc

Recap: 'America's Next Top Model' Cycle 12 - 'Put Your Best Face Forward'

The girls worked on posing, pretended to be immigrants and, in an elimination surprise, one girl turned snitch


It’s episode four of cycle 12 of "America’s Next Top Model"! Too many numbers for you in a single sentence? Of course! This is a show about models, not crime-fighting mathematicians. Geez.

So Nijah went home last week; Allison got to stick around because she’s less boring than Nijah, who, by the time this sentence has ended, I will have totally forgotten. 

Oh, interesting. Rihanna isn’t featured in the anchor Cover Girl commercial. Do I smell a backlash against the singer because of her personal choices? Do I love a conspiracy story?

[Full recap after the break...]

Sandra is strutting around more than usual, given that her picture was the best last week. It’s obviously hell on the rest of the girls, simply because Sandra is annoying and mean and a horrible soul. But before I can enjoy a real catfight, the doorbell rings, and Toccara is there. Oh my God, her voice could make the beard on the Lincoln Memorial bleed. Just show up and give out the clothes you “bought,” which probably means picked up from a sponsor. The visit is apparently all about nurturing one’s “personality.” And, apparently, walking on the Top Model house catwalk, because that’s all kinds of fun, right? 

Before she leaves, Toccara hammers home that you, like, really need a personality. Kthanxbai!

A dance-themed Tyramail can mean only one thing: Benny Ninja, vogue pioneer and posing queen. The girls all head to Marquee to meet Ninja and a model-turned-DJ named Sky Nellor. This challenge is all about matching one’s poses to music, because, apparently, photographers care about such things.

Nellor spins beats and the models come out in pairs, trying their best to pose to the music. Kortnie and Sandra fail; the former thinks about being funny too much, the latter is too unaware of her body. Tahlia and Allison don’t fare much better, but Celia kills it, as does a cool, jazz-inspired Aminat. Back at the house, Allison vows not to let her poor showing get her down.

Here comes the challenge: At a club called Mansion, a pair of designers who go by The Blondes agree to provide the fashions. A crowd will determine the winners. Of course this is a crowd of extremely elite drag queens -- the best posers on the planet, and I mean that in a good way. This is "Paris is Burning" all over again.

Allison gets called out as “sour,” which is good, right away. So is Kortnie and Sandra. Then Celia gallumphs onto the stage and owns it. Girl, you. Can. WERQ.

Aminat gets even eaten alive, as does Tahlia. Natalie wins her round, destined for a pose-off with Celia. Celia has the presence of mind to work with her crazy gold garment, and she wins over the drag queen handily.

Back at the house, Tahlia breaks down. This is because the crowd hated her, and that’s because she isn’t a very confident model, and THAT means she isn’t a very good model. She begins to talk about going home. Will she actually remove HERSELF from the competition? Will she? WILL SHE?

Before we can analyze, it’s off to another photo shoot. Tahlia confesses to the stylists in hair and makeup that, once again, she isn’t sure she should be there. Celia voices what everyone is thinking: We know you’re a burn victim, and that’s just so special, but really. Go home.

The next photo shoot takes place at Ellis Island. Benny Ninja will join each model as she tries to channel an immigrant arriving from the old country. They’re actually using a real, honest-to-goodness, old camera and everything! 

Sandra is up first. Her stiffness makes her more like the way an 1850s immigrant might look right now, as opposed to, you know, back then. Fo gives it her all. London has a naturally dramatic face, and she falls effortlessly into her “character.” Teyona, once again, can do no wrong. And then comes Kortnie. God, honey, you are so pretty, why must you flop like a sack in front of this old, old camera?

Now here comes a surprise: Tahlia’s shoot is actually good. Did I miss something?

Celia -- let’s not even spend any more time on her. She just rules. Can we move on? Good. Because Aminat seems to be experiencing some difficulty. She seems to falter with every frame, while Allison works her waifish anchovy eyes to full effect.

Panel comes next. Please, lordy, lordy, let Sandra go home. I don’t care if she adds drama to the competition. She grates.

Teyona just seems to own the judges. They love her shoot. London, inexplicably, fails to impress because she’s looking off in the distance, but Sandra just bombs completely. She’s handed the judges yet another profile, and even I, a 36-year-old shorty with a big ass, knows to give a photographer some range. The judges also like Aminat and Allison. 

Fo is up next. Like London, she does not connect with the camera because she isn’t, you know, looking into it. Natalie is praised and even given a comparison to Keira Knightley. 

Oh God, here comes Kortnie. She can do no right. And she’s so pretty! Are the planets out of alignment. Nigel declares her eyes to be “dead.” Tyra says she “underperformed.”

Tahlia, for her part, looks like a hot mess in person, but she has the best photo of the bunch this week. Celia does meh.

So who goes home? Sandra is in the bottom two. Hooray! But so is Kortnie. And, sadly for the known world, it’s Kortnie who goes home. Next week: More misery with Sandra at the Top Model house! Oh, yay.

And then ... OH NO SHE DID NOT. Celia just stood up in front of Tyra and ratted on Tahlia, saying that Tahlia didn't want to be there. But Tyra and the judges' decisions stand. Look for Celia to take some serious heat next episode.

Would you describe Celia as more of a "snitch" or a "rat" or a "stoolie" or a "narc"? 


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<p>Allison Iraheta of 'American Idol'</p>

Allison Iraheta of 'American Idol'

Credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - Motown Night for the Top 10

Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert are the Motown Night stars, while Michael Sarver and Megan Joy struggle

Since "American Idol" has previous fit 10 performances into a single hour, Tuesday (March 25) night's two-hour Top 10 show, featuring the Music of Motown, promises to have ample banter, clip packages and dead air.

Let's separate the wheat from the "American Idol" chaff after the break...

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<p>Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Denise Richards of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Denise Richards of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Results - Holly vs. Denise

It's a Battle of Beauties as Holly Madison and Denise Richards dance off... But who went home?


The second elimination episode of this seasons's Dancing With The Stars did not, thanks to the Presidential Address - have the usual liberty of being preceded by a whole hour of recapping (which, even f or reality television, is pushing it).  So it began with a much more conservative ten minute rehash - from Steve-O's stumble to Denise's pathetic performance to Bruno calling Steve Wozniak's performance "the worst ever" (and you need more, head to ABC.com!)

Tom & Samantha remind us that - in an attempt to tear a few viewers away from American Idol - the elimination episode now comes complete with a "dance off," in which the bottom two re-dance the previous night's performance in an attempt to win higher marks from the judges (the home voters' tallies don't change, however).

[Full recap after the break...]

The first four couples not put to that task? Melissa & Tony, Gilles & Cheryl, Shawn & Mark.. and here comes a bit of a shock: Steve Wozniak & Karina Smirnoff.  Karina squeals as we learn that the home voters obviously are eating up Wozniak's charming inability to dance. The lowest score since season two (a 10!) somehow put him in the ranks of the top three couples.  He admits the only time he's been more shocked was "when he was served with divorce papers."

There's no surprises with the next four: Lawrence & Edyta, David & Kim, Chuck & Julianne (ugh), and Lil' Kim & Derek (yay!), leaving the three lowest non-Wozniak scorers - Steve-O & Lacey, Holly & Dmitry, and Denise & Maksim - to face the potential of a "dance off" alongside Ty & Chelsey, who I assume received very few home votes due to Ty's non-celebrity and ridiculous dullness.  My guess is that it's gonna be a battle of the sluts: Denise vs. Holly. Who home-votes for a slut? People are bound to feel sorry for injured, fresh-outta-rehab Steve-O and Ty's at least got the cowboy vote... but Denise and Holly?

But before we find out, it's filler time:

First, we have Cloris Leachman's "guest appearance" in some bizarre parody of a vintage dancing how-to commercial, complete with fake grainy film reel.  I can only hope Ms. Leachman received some 

Then.. Hall & Oates, which I can at least say are a huge step up from last week's first act Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. 

And finally... wait, am I gonna have to actually glance up from my computer? It's Adele, doing a lovely rendition of "Chasing Pavements." However, it feels significantly wrong watching this being "interpreted" via two barely dressed dancers (the woman doing the splits in her sparkly bikini). Adele... I know this is good exposure, but...

Wait, it's not "finally" after all: We're getting an explanation of the concept of the "dance off" by various contestants! 

35 minutes into the damn show, we finally learn the bottom two. Steve-O & Lacey: Safe!  Holly & Dmitry: Bottom two!  Ty & Chelsie: Safe!!

Yes! It's a skank-off! I totally called it. Except now I'm kind of concerned I'm losing one of my best shots at half-decent jokes next week. Either way, here we go:

Holly & Dmitry

After ANOTHER recap, they take the floor to repeat their samba (and Holly repeats her intensely busty red bikini number).  I'm not seeing a huge improvement. Holly still seems incredibly unaware of what she should be doing, nervously watching Dmitry's every move to see what she should be up to. Len and Carrie Ann both seem to totally disagree me, while Bruno just goes on about hot she is without really giving any positive or negative.

Score:  18 (that's one up from last night)


Denise & Maksim

In the prep video, Denise takes charge: "I think we should definitely rehearse before tomorrow." Ya think, Denise? I hate to give Ms. Richards a compliment, but it seems like it pays off.  It's nothing amazing, but her & Maksim's samba is so much better than Holly & Dmitry's. Denise seems to be actually TRYING, unlike any performance she's given so far on the show. All three of the judges overwhelmingly agree, and tell her she deserves to stay. 

Score:  20 (that's FOUR up from last night

So it's down to this. The home votes are added to the judge's new scores, and joining Belinda Carlise back in obscurity is... Denise & Max! Wow, America hates Denise Richards even more than I thought. She doesn't appear to really care (all contestants that don't make the top 3 make the same $200,000, so she must be just happy with this easy money).

See ya next week..


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<p>Ali Larter of 'Heroes'</p>

Ali Larter of 'Heroes'

Credit: Chris Haston/NBC

Recap: 'Heroes' - 'Cold Snap'

Noah uses Tracy to draw out the mysterious 'Rebel,' while Danko widens his net in search of those with powers.

So THAT is what a good episode of “Heroes” looks like! I had to wipe my glasses down a few times, because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Did this reach the glorious heights of Season 1? Well, not quite, but this episode, entitled “Cold Snap,” came damn close. Why? Because long-time characters suddenly remembered how they used to act, and the show remembered that having a show populated with powerful people is more interesting when they exhibit said powers. The result? A super-charged episode that almost super-charged my tear ducts by episode’s end.

Read on for spoilers that are cold as ice.

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<p>Evil First Daughter Olivia (Sprague Grayden) takes a break from being evil to plot future evil doings.</p>

Evil First Daughter Olivia (Sprague Grayden) takes a break from being evil to plot future evil doings.

Credit: Kelsey McNeal/FOX

Recap: '24' Episode 15 (10 p.m. to 11 p.m.)

Carl causes Jack to get sentimental, Ethan offers to resign and Evil Olivia is Evil


In the world of "24," there are only two ways to something: There's the Jack Bauer Way and the Wrong Way. 

Monday (March 23) night's episode offered an interesting wrinkle, though. It turns out that the Jack Bauer Way isn't always the way chosen by Jack Bauer and in those rare circumstances in which Jack Bauer deviates from the Jack Bauer Way, it's actually possible for Jack Bauer to be in the wrong. Or, put a different way, just because Jack Bauer does something doesn't mean it's automatically the Jack Bauer Way.

[Full recap of Monday's "24," which took place between the hours of 10 p.m. and 11 p.m., after the break...]

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<p>Happier times (and results) for Denise and Maksim.</p>

Happier times (and results) for Denise and Maksim.

Credit: ABC/Kelsey McNeal

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Performances - Week 3

Is it coming down to a two dancer race between Giles and Melissa?


Tom Bergeron & Samantha Harris shockingly welcomed all of their competing stars for this third week of Dancing With The Stars, with no fractured feet or separated shoulders keeping any of them on the sidelines (both Steves, O and Wozniak, have struggled in the competition thus far, and two contestants - Jewel & Nancy O'Dell - had to drop out before filming began).  And with no drama for Tom to tease us with this week, we can quickly move on to the performances:

Denise Richards & Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Last week's alleged "most improved" (I beg to differ), Denise Richards announces that she hopes she's "on a roll."  But Maksim is concerned. "She needs to get out of her head and enjoy the dance," he says in recap of their practicing.  To me, I question whether this is really the problem. Denise just always looks like she's pretending to be into what she's doing.  And, bad actress that she is, it's easy to see right through it.   Dressed in a whorish black cocktail dress, Richards looks dazed and confused during the routine, and at one point a piece of her dress (or is at a feathered hair clip?) falls to the ground.  Somehow, Len doesn't hate it, but thankfully Bruno and Carrie Ann are with me (Bruno called it "more a waffle than a samba... nothing really worked").

Score: 16 (down from 21 last week)

[More results after the jump]

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<p>Michael and Mark of 'The Amazing Race'</p>

Michael and Mark of 'The Amazing Race'

Credit: Sonja Flemming/CBS

Recap: 'The Amazing Race' - 'Alright guys, we're at war'

In India, the teams feed camels, put makeup on elephants and marvel at the cows on the streets

In discussing Sunday (March 22) night's episode of "The Amazing Race," I wish to discuss the issue of adherence to the printed clues and whether or not very small infractions should be penalized.

On the Roadblock in Sunday's episode, players had to water and feed a pack of camels. The clue clearly read "Using native tools" and contestants were provided with metal buckets meant for transporting water and thatch baskets and rakes for accumulating and transporting feed. That was how the task was  meant to be performed.

More than a few teams, though, had trouble with the literacy portion of the clue and, at least for a while, attempted to carry the feed using the metal buckets, in violation of the intent of the task, if not the letter of the law. 

Well, using the pail was harder than using the basket, so is the inconvenience penalty enough? Or should teams have incurred some sort of sanction for their blunder? I mean, we're supposed to be teaching teams to read the clues and slapping them on the wrist if they fail, right?

[Recap and spoilers after the break...]

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<p>Eliza Dushku of 'Dollhouse'</p>

Eliza Dushku of 'Dollhouse'

Credit: Isabella Vosmikova/FOX

Recap: 'Dollhouse' - 'Man on the Street'

Joss Whedon and company have been talking up Episode Six for weeks. Did it live up to the hype?


This is it. Episode 6. When “Dollhouse” is supposed to get good. It’s no secret that the ratings and critical response for the show have been less than stellar so far. But we finally get some traction tonight. Everyone says so. Joss Whedon himself has made the rounds with entertainment reporters, telling them that this is when it all starts to pull together. Where Echo and Ballard finally meet. And most importantly, when Patton Oswalt, actor, comedian and übergeek, guest-stars.

This is where it all turns around. Episode 6.

[How did it go? Recap after the break...]

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<p><span class="smallest">Caprica Six and Gaius Baltar are reunited in "Daybreak, pt. 2"</span></p>

Caprica Six and Gaius Baltar are reunited in "Daybreak, pt. 2"

Credit: Sci Fi/Carole Segal

The final 'Battlestar Galactica': a stunning goodbye to a magnificent series

After a subpar half season, the show's delivers a classic last episode. What did you think?


Doesn't it seem like all the great shows end badly?  Case in point the controversial ends of "Seinfeld," "Friends" and "The Sopranos."  Does anyone even remember what happened on the last episode of "Dallas" or "Star Trek: The Next Generation"?  Shoot,  even the finales for "Sex and the City"  and "Six Feed Under" had their detractors.  Considering the uneven results of the past nine episodes, there was certainly a fear that same fate would meet the beloved "Battlestar Galactica" 

Isn't it great that after all these years "BSG" went out with a frakin' bang?

[Warning: major spoilers after the jump.  Again, if you have not watched the show, you may want to wait before diving into this recap.]

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