Recapping Television's Hottest Shows with Monkeys as Critics
Remote wiping sounds dirty, but that's what happens to Eliza Dushku's 'Echo' on a sensitive job
Eliza Dushku of 'Dollhouse'
Credit: Adam Taylor/FOX
Previously on “Dollhouse:” you should know the drill by now.
Then we hear a woman moaning in what sounds like orgasm and what turns out to be the final stages of labor. Note to the writers: do not ever suggest to your wives that the final stages of labor are anything like an orgasm. Echo is there, working as a midwife – yet another one of those jobs that could be performed by a regular person, but is being done by Echo, presumably at a very high hourly rate.
[For more, click through...]
a.k.a. 'We're still hunting for Emmy nods'
Admiral Adama has some tough decisions to make in "Island in a Stream of Stars."
Credit: Sci Fi/Carole Segal
After tonight's episode there are only two more installments of the great "Battlestar Galactica" left. Anyone feeling nostalgic? Any chance we'll get the thrill of one more Entertainment Weekly cover (or are we doomed to "Twilight" every other week)? Are we ready to debate who amongst the cast has the best shot at breaking out in the years to come? No, probably not yet. However, because tonight's episode featured more dramatic personal moments amongst the characters (Emmy watcher alert!), this writer's mind is starting to wander.
Unlike the past two episodes, there were not that many startling revelations in "Islanded in a Stream of Stars." Sure, stuff happened like seeing the Cylon Colony for the first time (basically V'ger without all the fog), but beyond Adama's pivotal decision at the end of the show (which had been hinted at since at least last season), it was time for some more tender moments between some of our favorite characters.
[Spoilers after the jump]
As one key alliance builds, a losing tribe has to decide if it's Age before Beauty
Sydney of 'Survivor: Tocantins'
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
Pre-credit sequence. Timbira returns to camp after voting out Jerry. Coach is still annoyed about the tribe impugning his leadership, specially Black Widow Erinn.. "It pissed me off and it made me think Erinn's gotta go, because she's the cancer in the tribe," Coach says, as Erinn picks her nose by firelight. The next morning, leadership is up for discussion at a tribe pow-wow. Tyson's OK with letting Brendan and Coach fight it out. "I wasn't paying attention," he says. "I don't care." Coach, however, cares deeply. Very deeply. Although he publicly tells the tribe he'll gladly let Brendan lead, he tells the camera, "If you look at me, you look at Brendan, who looks stronger? I do. We need to thrive in the wild and not just exist."
[Full recap, with spoilers, after the bump.]
'American Idol' reaches its top group. Would there be a twist? And would there be room for Tatiana?
Tatiana Del Toro of 'American Idol'
Credit: Michael Becker/FOX
Thursday (March 5) night's Very Special "American Idol" is a results show and a performance episode all-in-one, as the eight Wild Card contenders sing and the judges will make their picks in a single action-packed hour.
As a result, this will likely be a hybrid recap, shifting from performances to minute-by-minute results as they occur. Bear with me here...
The full excitement after the break...
Leslie Gornstein joins our Monkeys as Critics team to talk about the girls vying for Tyra Banks' love
Tyra Banks of 'America's Next Top Model'
Credit: Barbara Nitke / The CW
Eeeee! Scream, girls, scream, you’re on reality television and the producers say screeeeaaaam. Scream, headband girl!
It’s season 12, and top to pick another top twig; among the initial 34 girls, we have an “African goddess,” a freckly hippie, a girl who thinks she’s going to be Tyra’s BFF and several fading blondes whose wispy locks definitely won’t survive the makeover episode -- that is, if they even survive this two-hour opener. First task:
Dress as a goddess outside of Caesars Palace in Vegas and walk on a pretend cloud. Weeeew! Oh look! Centurions from central casting! Tyra dressed as an even goddessier goddess. Or, as Celia gushes, “an entity!” That’s it. Intros over. Time to meet the new girls individually in the panel judging room.
[More from Wednesday's (March 4) "America's Next Top Model" premiere after the break...]
Who's LaFleur, who does he love, and who did he kill?
Sawyer gets his mack on in 'LaFleur,' this week's episode of 'Lost'
Credit: Mario Perez/ABC
Did I mention how much I loved the end of last week's episode?
"Do you recognize him?"
"Yes. That's the man who killed me."
Now... about this week's episode...
... GIANT STATUE! HOLY CRAP!
I think it's now safe to assume that anyone who thought Sawyer was going to be the subject of the four-toed giant statue was wrong. The statue is waaa
aaaaay back in time in the Island's history. And after just a glimpse of it, they're launched forward in time again, and they land sometime in the early days of the Dharma Initiative's struggle with the Others. And this time, when they land, they land in a way that makes them feel like maybe John Locke pulled off what he was trying to pull off. Maybe he put the needle back in the groove, because everyone's headache goes away, and there are no more flashes.
Now that the writers aren't bound to one structure that's the same each time, they are free to play with time in all new ways, and this time, the episode revolves around jumps either "Three Years Later" or "Three Years Earlier," each time as punctuation to whatever we've just seen. And it really works. It pays off that jump in chronology each time, and it sets up a sense of where the story's going, but not how it's going to get there. The introduction of LaFleur is pretty wonderful. Sawyer just took back ownership of a significant piece of the show's mythology. He's not just a survivor. He's a guy who knows how to live along the way. He's just as driven by his feelings about the Island as Locke ever was. He's just not as vocal about his crazy.
[more after the jump]
We all knew Lil Rounds was advancing, but who joined her? And will the Wild Card bring Tatiana Del Toro back?
Credit: Chris Cuffaro/FOX
8:00 p.m. ET Oh, America. What have you done?
8:01 p.m. We're only 59 minutes away from learning who's coming back tomorrow for the Wild Card show. ANOOP!
8:01 p.m. Is it just me, or have the crowds been more enthusiastic toward Simon this year? Randy's solo booing stands out more than usual.
8:02 p.m. Ryan asks Paula to compare this year's group to past groups at this stage. In true Paula fashion, she ducks the shoe and replies, "I think we have an amazing start for the Top 12 going on."
8:04 p.m. "Hot -n- Cold" may be the worst Group Sing ever. It's a silly song, but the singers have all been instructed to deliver ever line with a silly smile. The song is especially emasculating for the men, who look like they're playing extras in a modern-dress adaptation of "Grease." A modern day adaptation of "Grease"? That's ridiculous. Exactly.
8:06 p.m. The cameraman just pulled almost out of the theater. Is he trying to escape? I don't blame you.
[More after the break...]
Lil Rounds is the story of the night, but who will join her in the Top 12?
Lil Rounds of 'American Idol'
Credit: Chris Cuffaro/FOX
The season's first "American Idol" semi-final group seemed packed with stars and several very good singers didn't make it through. The second group was pretty top-to-bottom average, but that meant some solid singers were sent packing.
On Tuesday (March 3), "American Idol" unleashed a motley Group Three that contained some really rough performances. Were there any diamonds in the rough?
Recap after the bump...
As the mysterious "Rebel" orchestrates events from behind the scenes, The Hunter sees opportunity in a prophetic painting.
Hayden Panettiere and Justin Baldoni in 'Heroes'
Credit: Trae Patton/NBC
Tonight's episode, entitled "Exposed," nominally referred to the leaked footage of superpowered detainment procedures going on under the American public's nose. But the title also referred to several plot points this week, as at least one thing came fully to light in each of the episode's three narrative arcs: Nathan's incompetence, Samson’s ability, and Aquaman's abs.
Let's learn about all three after the spoiler-filled break, shall we?
Two-hour episode includes a hostage situation inside the White House
Credit: Greg Gayne/FOX
Let it never be said that the producers of "24" are the least bit afraid to let their show venture into realms so ridiculous they nearly become science fiction.
They assassinated an ex-president and very nearly exploded his brother. They shot down Air Force One. They nuked Valencia. They've released deadly biological weapons in several public and private locations. They've unearthed moles on a weekly basis and invoked tenuous parts of Constitutional law that have never been called into play in 233 years of American history. If the big reveal of Day Seven is that Tony Almeida was a cyborg from the future sent to kill Jack Bauer, viewers will be temporarily confused, but they'll ultimately find a way to reconcile Robo-Tony with the the show's twisted continuity.
So keep all of that in mind when I make the argument that Monday (March 2) night's two-hour "24" event may have featured the most preposterous plot developments in the show's history.
With any other show on TV, the previous sentence would sound like a clear insult. With "24," I believe we'll all be able to agree that Monday's episodes were, at the very least, never boring.
[Recap after the break...]