<p>Zachary Quinto of 'Heroes'</p>

Zachary Quinto of 'Heroes'

Credit: Chris Haston/NBC

Recap: 'Heroes' - 'I Am Sylar'

As Sylar struggles to maintain his sense of self while shape shifting, Hiro and Ando concoct a plan to take down Building 26.

It’s like the show wants me to hate it sometimes, I swear. It feels like the only explanation as I watch a show completely either retcon, retrofit, or dismember some previously established fact about the “Heroes” universe multiple times per episode all because the common sense of continuity would bring everything to a crashing halt. But hey, least there’s only one more episode in this volume, right?

Read on for schizophrenic spoilers…

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<p>Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' - Performances - Week 7

Melissa gets the highest scores, but Shawn, Chuck and Gilles are close behind

 

In the first group dance of the season, Tom lets us know we are in store for "the most INTENSE night of dancing to date." He also reminds us of the ratings-stunt-of-the-week: the "stars" have designed the professional designers outfits. Though I question how capable a football star or "cowboy king" are at designing a full-on dress in a matter of seven days, here they come... And on first glance, everyone seems pretty covered up, particularly Edyta, for which Lawrence did the NFL proud by "designing" a full-length coat with fur on the collar and cuffs. It's a Dr. Zhivago nightmare.

 

Full recap of Monday (April 20) night's "Dancing with the Stars" after the break...

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<p>Luke and Margie of 'The Amazing Race'</p>

Luke and Margie of 'The Amazing Race'

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'The Amazing Race' - 'Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death'

The elimination was a dud, but things grew heated between Luke & Margie and Jen & Kisha

I'm not saying that the creative team on "The Amazing Race" would ever actively root for a physical and verbal altercation between two teams, a showdown with all manner of unsettling undertones, but if ever there were an episode where they might feel grateful that that sort of incident occurred, it would be Sunday (April 19) night's.

[Spoilers for Sunday night's "Amazing Race" episode, titled "Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death," after the break....]

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<p>Coach of 'Survivor: Tocantins'</p>

Coach of 'Survivor: Tocantins'

Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

Recap: 'Survivor: Tocantins' - 'The Biggest Fraud in the Game'

Coach and Brendan scheme against each other, but who would be the Dragon and who would be the Slayer?

Pre-credit sequence. Does anybody else find it odd that in the past week we've had a non-elimination leg on "The Amazing Race," a "Survivor" without a Tribal Council and an "American Idol" episode where the person with the fewest votes didn't go home? What an anti-climactic week! They're also frustrated at the new Forza camp. As Coach puts it, a funk is permeating the camp. The solution to the funk (Other than an air-drop of deodorant...)? Story-time, courtesy of Coach, who recounts an adventure from his time in the Amazon, a tale of vicious and diminutive Peruvian Indians who beat Coach with clubs. Yikes. Sounds scary. Though, who hasn't wanted to beat Coach with a club at some point? The Murderous Dwarves were about to kill the Dragon Slayer, but he escaped, hearing the pitter-patter of their tiny feet on his trail. "You don't wanna say, 'Coach, hey, let's have a reality check,'" observes a skeptical Deb. Brendan posits, "Coach is either the new coming of Jacques Cousteau... or he's the biggest fraud in the game."

[Full recap of Thursday (April 16) night's "Survivor: Tocantins" after the break...]

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<p>Miles (Ken Leung) takes center stage in tonight's episode of 'Lost'</p>

Miles (Ken Leung) takes center stage in tonight's episode of 'Lost'

Credit: Bob D'Amico/ABC

Recap: 'Lost' #513 'Some Like It Hoth' Miles reveals his sixth sense

The last puzzle piece before the home stretch for 'Lost' in its penultimate season

Are there seriously only four more episodes this year? And then only one more season after this? Cue my panic attack and withdrawal symptoms now, please.

First, I want to give credit directly to the guys who write "Lost."  All of you.  Because the more you've gotten a handle on the show, the more you've grown confident in the answers behind what you're doing... the more I think you're going to pull it off.  Because you do magic tricks on this show.  You take this bits and pieces that you've laid out over the last five years, and you connect the dots, not because you knew exactly how you'd get there, or even if this is exactly where you'd end up, but because you were confident that the world and the cast of characters you've created will give you the right opportunities to pay things off.  It's a game, and that's the thrill.  When you've asked the audience to invest in a show like this, it's a high-wire act.  Can you stick the landing?  You'll have to excuse me if I'm watching out of the half-fear that at some point, the show will simply drive off into a ditch and implode. 

But we're not talking about an ending that's in some unforseeable future.  It's next year.  They've got to be talking about how this ends right now, already fairly clear in the ideas they're hoping to pull together by that point.  In order to pull off all those magic tricks, you've had to introduce new characters over the course of the show.  When it really works, you get a Desmond or a Ben.  Guys who are part of the larger fabric of the show.  When it doesn't really work, Anna Lucia leaves the show early.  That's part of the freedom of a story this big.  People don't have to be in the whole thing.  They can just play a part.  And some of them exit stage left.

I think tonight is the night that Miles became a Desmond or a Ben.

[more after the jump]

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<p>Aminat of 'America's Next Top Model'</p>

Aminat of 'America's Next Top Model'

Credit: Jim DeYonker/Pottle Productions Inc

Recap: 'America's Next Top Model' Cycle 12 - 'Take Me to the Photo Shoot'

Tyra tells the girls they're off to model in Brazil, but who wasn't fierce enough to catch the flight?

Allison. Oh, queen of the sea. “The judges see one face week after week after week," Tyra has said. According to Celia, all Allison needs to do is think about sex. Do anchovies have sex? Can someone look that up for me while I continue recapping Wednesday's (April 15) episode of "America's Next Top Model"?

[Recap after the break...]
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<p>Anoop Desai of 'American Idol'</p>

Anoop Desai of 'American Idol'

Credit: Chris Cuffaro/FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - The Judges' Save Is Used

Jennifer Hudson & Miley Cyrus perform before Anoop, Lil and Matt go to the Bottom Three

9:00 p.m. ET  Another faux Grindhouse introduction for Wednesday (April 15) night's "American Idol" in honor of Tuesday's guest mentor Quentin Tarantino, complete with degraded images and projector failure. Unlike last night, though, Ryan Seacrest gets to deliver "This is 'American Idol.'" Perhaps Tarantino realized he has a movie he's supposed to be editing before Cannes?

9:02 p.m. Our votes are in, but Ryan doesn't tell us the results, which means that no records were broken after Tuesday's Songs of the Cinema performances.

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<p>Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer of 'Dancing with the Stars'</p>

Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer of 'Dancing with the Stars'

Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC

Recap: 'Dancing with the Stars' Results - The prankster or the cowboy?

The dance-offs are done, but Steve-O and Ty are in danger on 'Dancing'

 

The usual recaps inform us that going into Tuesday (April 14) night's "Dancing with the Stars" elimination (which, for some reason, will no longer feature a dance-off), Steve-O and Ty are facing some measly scores from the judges, while Shawn, Gilles, Melissa and top-scorer Lil' Kim continue their reign as the top four. There is no mention of Lil' Kim's alleged near-wardrobe malfunction, which was cut from the west coast feed last night.

With only eight people left to potentially eliminate, there's a lot of time to fill in between, and the "fun" begins with the cast of a "West Side Story" revival doing "America"! Then backstage Samantha gets us some obvious information from the contestants. Kim wants to stay at #1.  Ty admits he was less than spectacular. Steve-O is "eternally grateful" to continue to be on the show.  THIS is riveting television, people...

[Full recap, with results, after the break...]

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<p>Kris Allen of 'American Idol'</p>

Kris Allen of 'American Idol'

Credit: Chris Cuffaro/FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - The Top 7 sing Songs of the Cinema

With Quentin Tarantino as their coach, the Top 7 went to movies like 'Once,' 'Easy Rider' and 'Armageddon'

Tuesday (April 14) is "American Idol's" second shot at delivering an hour-long episode. Last week's first attempt didn't work out so well, unless you happened to be praying for strong (and fake) ratings for the return of "Fringe."

The theme on Tuesday is Songs of the Cinema, with "American Idol" favorite Quentin Tarantino actually in the audience sitting behind Simon, checking up on how well the singers responded to his coaching.

The gimmick is that the judges are only going to talk two-at-a-time tonight. Really? With seven singers performing over the course of an hour, they can't fit in comments from four judges? They've done 10 singers and three judges in an hour before. Why not do two judges and Tarantino if you have to doctor with the formula? Heck, why not to Simon and one additional judge on each performance? Who knew that Nigel Lythgoe was the the producer who held the secret to making the show run on time and that in his absence all would be chaos?

Full recap after the break...

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<p>Elisha Cuthbert of '24'</p>

Elisha Cuthbert of '24'

Credit: FOX

Recap: '24' Episode 18 (1 a.m. to 2 a.m.)

A shocking character reversal! A surprising death! An arrest! And the return of Kim Bauer!

 

I'm having a hard time figuring out what to make of Monday (April 13) night's "24." I'm having a hard time even several hours after watching the episode, several hours after I'm normally able to get a recap up. On one hand, I'd blame the matzah, on the grounds that my brain requires leavening for all of my good ideas to rise. On the other hand, I'd blame the idea that rarely has "24" as totally straddled that line between awesome and awful as it did on Monday night and I still can't determine which side of that line the episode finally fell on.

Stick with me as I battle through a few of the episode's major sticking points in my mind.

Recap, with spoilers, after the break...

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