<p>Caleb of &quot;Big Brother&quot;</p>

Caleb of "Big Brother"

Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Sunday - Nominations and the first Battle of the Block

In which we witness the birth and demise of The Bomb Squad

Let's see... Where did we leave things?

Frankie was still one Head of Household.

Caleb had gone into the first challenge in Beast Mode and he was also Head of Household.

Julie Chen had explained the whole "challenge" thing and how a former Head of Household could potentially go up on the block, but I napped through it.

And already, the people who dedicate their lives to watching the feeds have a wealth of knowledge about why all 16 of these hamsters are bad, bad people. And I'll say it again: For purposes of these recaps -- and purposes of comments -- ONLY STUFF FROM TV IS CANNON.

Good times. On to the recap!

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<p>Sunday&#39;s &quot;True Blood&quot;</p>

Sunday's "True Blood"

Credit: HBO

Recap: 'True Blood' - 'I Found You'

This show is going to town on all the things that may be least important to the audience.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, “True Blood” would like to give you what you want from it. This is not a Brechtian experiment in raising awareness of the audience’s desire to have its feelings manipulated in the name of “entertainment” by frustrating and disappointing us at every turn; at its best, it’s a robust sexy horror comedy made by HBO pros. But it’s been having trouble being scary and funny—intentionally, anyway—because of creative exhaustion, or the contempt that’s bred by familiarity, or because Alan Ball has left the building. Or maybe its priorities are just screwed up. “I Found You” opens with a languorously paced scene in which Jason Stackhouse tracks down Eric, standing in front of a window with his shirt open, as if practicing his moodiness. “Why’d you come here, Jason?” asks Eric “I came because I knew you’d ask that f***ing question,” replies Jason, who accuses Eric of running away to escape their undeniable, unspoken passion for each other: “Ah cain’t get you out of mah head,” he drawls. “But you probably hear that a lot, don’t you?” The two end up in a fierce and shirtless lip lock. 

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"Big Brother 16"

Recap: 'Big Brother' 16 Night 2 - Andy Herren Judges With Us

We inspect the eight new houseguests and invite "BB15" winner Andy Herren to appraise them with us.

Night two of "Big Brother 16" served up some saucy new houseguests and a couple of strange (er, confusing?) twists. We were aware of the existence of a "Team America" thanks to Wednesday night's premiere, but we just learned that Joey, a blue-haired person who recycles Aquafina bottles in the Pacific Northwest, was voted by viewers to be the first houseguest on the secret three-person team. She'll get special chances to win $5,000 for every silly challenge/dare she completes. "Now this is some GREEN I won't be recycling!" she doesn't say to us, but you can just effing imagine it.

We also learned more about the two-HOH, four-block-nominee system of tyranny that Julie Chen is so excited about. (She is extra sinister this season. I always expect her to turn to the camera and whisper, "The houseguests don't know that right now they're drinking the blood of Les Moonves' first wife.") Apparently there are two HOHs every week, and they both nominate two houseguests apiece. Those two duos battle against each other, and the winning duo gets to remove themselves from the chopping block and subject the HOH who chose them to a possible eviction. The losing team remains unsafe, and the HOH who chose them remains safe. Get it? You shouldn't. 

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But now, the important stuff. Eight new houseguests entered Chenbot Manor, and it's time for us to inspect their characters like detectives who specialize in loud narcissists. To help us analyze the new hamsters, we also have Andy Herren -- the winner of "Big Brother 15" -- to add some spicy commentary. Here are HitFix's and Andy Herren's takes on the newbies.

Victoria

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HitFix: I feel like Victoria spent hours memorizing three shockingly boring tidbits to recite about herself, like DeFwon from "30 Rock." "I'm an Orthodox Jew!" she purrs. "I'm the hottest girl in the house!" she murmurs nervously. "I love pink. It's the best," she coos. None of those facts translates to gameplay. Understanding that Frankie has hair that matches your outfit is probably not an FBI-level insight. 

Andy Herren: Victoria is this season's Jessie (Big Brother 15). On one hand, this is bad because she is doomed. On the other hand, this is fantastic because she will be humiliated on a nearly non-stop basis.  

Zach

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HitFix: It took me a second, but I love this guy's cockiness. I also love that he told Rachel Reilly to her face that she was a bully. Yes to angry honesty! Good caustic energy coming off this bro. I bet his favorite food is Mountain Dew.

 

Andy Herren: He's a self-proclaimed "con artist" and an Andy-proclaimed "cutie pie."  I want him to go far, not only because I think he is capable of it, but also due to the fact that if he wins, we can take photos together and I can begin to seduce him. He also claimed that I'm one of his all-time favorite players. I need to marry this guy.  

Caleb

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HitFix: I'm annoyed to death that Caleb says he's not going to play down his physical strength. Really? Is he also just going to volunteer for elimination every week? Worse, this is somebody who calls himself a "metrosexual." Ugh. Buying a pair of jeans at Guess doesn't mean you get to have an identity. 

Andy Herren: Next. Over it. 

Hayden

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HitFix: I can usually tolerate an affable heterosexual player, but I'm not sensing Hayden will surprise us with brilliant espionage tactics. Also: I am done with "Big Brother" players being named Hayden. I am especially done with adult skateboarders. So it turns out Hayden wasn't tolerable at all. The end.

Andy Herren:  Hayden seems like the type of guy who would be fun to grab a beer with, but who is also expendable.  I see him sticking around for a while before being kicked to the curb when someone needs an easy target to pick off.  His safari hat is quite ridiculous, though.

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Recap: 'Big Brother' Season 16 Premiere - Wednesday Night
Credit: CBS

Recap: 'Big Brother' Season 16 Premiere - Wednesday Night

The first eight hamsters enter the house for a twist-filled summer

Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome.

It's time for another season of CBS' "Big Brother." It's Season 16 and the hamsters have changed, but the Julie Chen remains the same. Exactly the same. Disturbingly the same.

As always, HitFix will be recapping here at the Monkeys As Critics blog. With some variation, I'll be recapping one night (probably the elimination show so I can be lazy and live-blog), Louis Virtel will take another night (which may not be live-blogs, but they'll be funnier than my recaps) and we're still ironing out that extra night. But don't worry. We'll be there to cover all of the racism, homophobia and showman's that CBS sees fit to put on TV. Probably none of us will be watching the live-feeds, but just because it happens doesn't mean it's canon.

Anyway... Click through for my live-blogged recap of Wednesday (June 25) night's premiere and check out Louis' interview with last year's winner Andy.

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<p>Tara!</p>

Tara!

Credit: HBO

Recap: 'True Blood' Premiere - 'Jesus Gonna Be Here'

If You’re the Kind to Sit Up in Your Room, Watching Show About Some Glum Buffoons

Welcome to the seventh and final season of "True Blood"! When a great, long-running show comes to the end of its run, it feels like the end of an era, and this is a great show. Or at least it was. It peaked around the time Russell Edgington pulled the news anchor’s spine out on live TV, then sat down to address the camera. and proceeded to show Howard Beale how it’s done. And the last couple of seasons were real off-road torture tests, raising troubling questions about the motives and abilities of almost everyone involved, starting with Rutger Hauer’s agent. 

Ultimately, the big question faithful viewers were left asking was, as Richard Pryor once so eloquently put it, “How long will this bullsh*** go on?” Now we know: whether the show rallies and pulls out of its tailspin or continues to spiral toward the Earth like a piece of flaming space flotsam, it will go on for another six weeks. And then that’s it—none of that “first half of season seven, to be continued next year” nonsense that’s so popular with your high-profile cable shows nowadays. So much of life, like so much of late "True Blood," is about being grateful for small favors.

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20 best sketches of the 2013-2014 'Saturday Night Live' Season
Credit: NBC

20 best sketches of the 2013-2014 'Saturday Night Live' Season

From 'Boy Dance Party' to 'Black Jeopardy!,' did you favorite sketch make the list?

While experiencing a rocky and often incoherent season, "Saturday Night Live" nonetheless produced many great sketches. Not every episode worked, but most contained at least one sketch that still lingers in the minds of its audience.

Funny, original, and often even moving, here are the twenty best segments the show had to offer in its thirty-ninth season.

Agree or disagree? Share your comments below.

Andy Samberg

Andy Samberg

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' – Andy Samberg and St. Vincent

The former 'SNL' player and current 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' star closes out the season

So here’s the not so dirty secret about Andy Samberg: He wasn’t a particularly strong live performer during his time on “Saturday Night Live.” That didn’t particularly matter, since his contributions to the preproduced form under the “Digital Shorts” moniker represent the single most important part of the show during his tenure. That is nothing to sneeze at. But unless “SNL” goes all in all pretaped segments tonight (which, you know, maybe?), we’re going to get some live sketches in which Samberg is the featured player.

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Charlize Theron, Cecily Strong, and The Black Keys

Charlize Theron, Cecily Strong, and The Black Keys

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' – Charlize Theron and The Black Keys

The star of "A Million Ways To Die In The West" shows off her comedic bonafides

While recent host Seth Rogen took nearly five years to return to “Saturday Night Live,” Charlize Theron makes that period look downright short by comparison. Her one and only other hosting gig took place in November 2000, making tonight’s return thirteen and a half years in the making. (To be fair, filming “Aeon Flux” took a lot out of everyone involved with that production, so we can’t fault her too much.) While preferring dramas to comedies in terms of her film choices, Theron does have “A Million Ways To Die In The West” on the way to your local movie theatre. Pairing her with Seth MacFarlane in that film might seem strange, but that’s probably precisely the point. That film sure looks a long way from "Monster" and "North Country." So maybe we’ll see a different performer than the one that graced Studio 8H at the turn of the century. Hell, maybe she's now the new drummer in The Black Keys. Anything is possible!

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Andrew Garfield and Bobby Moynihan

Andrew Garfield and Bobby Moynihan

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' – Andrew Garfield and Coldplay

Will Garfield spin a comedic web in his first hosting appearance?

We’re here in the final stretch of the “Saturday Night Live” season, with just three consecutive episodes separating us and wild speculation about the fortieth season of the program. I have a few thoughts on what to look for over these three weeks, but the promos this week suggest “SNL” might have an extremely fun and game host in Garfield. He has cameo’d in the past when real-life girlfriend Emma Stone has hosted (look for her to return the favor tonight), but this is his first chance to show the comedic touches he brings to Peter Parker in a sketch-comedy setting. Along for the ride is musical guest Coldplay, who ironically last appeared on “SNL” when Stone hosted. Maybe Spider-Man will fight them as two-thirds of The Sinister Six. Not an EXTREMELY sinister six, I’d grant you. But hey, what do I know?

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10 things to look for on 'Saturday Night Live' in May
Credit: NBC

10 things to look for on 'Saturday Night Live' in May

Some questions about the show as season 39 comes to a close

As “Saturday Night Live” prepares for its final three weeks, lots of questions still remain in this transitional season. In anticipation of the show wrapping things up until Fall, several key themes will be important to gauge.

Here are ten things you should keep an eye on when the show returns in May: