<p>&nbsp;Ashton Kutcher</p>

 Ashton Kutcher

Credit: AP

Recap: 'Saturday Night Live' - Ashton Kutcher channels Mel Gibson and Them Crooked Vultures rock

There are laughs to be had -- but why were they at the end of the show?

There are a few things that make me feel old. Not knowing the lyrics to a single Miley Cyrus or Jonas Brothers song. Thinking Taylor Swift is cute but can’t sing a damn lick. And being one of those people who whines about when “SNL” used to be good. Which really wasn’t that long ago (I’m thinking Tina Fey as Sarah Palin). But it’s such a traditional bitch about the show I hate to even drag it out. Still, this has not been a banner year for “SNL”, and I wonder if, without a bumbling idiot of a Republican or two in the headlines, if it’s just too much to ask for some pointed humor instead of potty jokes. But I’m going to think positive and dive right in tonight.

[Recap of Saturday (Feb. 6) night's "Saturday Night Live" after the break...]

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<p>&nbsp;Eric Stoltz and Esai Morales of 'Caprica'</p>

 Eric Stoltz and Esai Morales of 'Caprica'

Credit: Syfy

Recap: 'Caprica' - 'Reins of a Waterfall'

In the fallout of Amanda's announcement, both Daniel and Joseph take drastic steps.

"Once you start in a direction, it’s best to keep going." So sayeth Sam Adama early in the latest installment of “Caprica.” After the explosiveness of the two-hour pilot and the histrionics of last week’s final moments, this week featured something of a breather. By pausing the action, it allowed the heads of the show’s three main families to take stock of a world now on uneasy ground, a world ripe for change. Let’s scope out the affects on the three families, starting with the most unconventional one first.

[Click through for the full recap of Friday (Feb. 5) night's "Caprica"...]

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<p>&nbsp;Amy of 'Project Runway'</p>

 Amy of 'Project Runway'

Credit: Lifetime

Recap: 'Project Runway' - 'Design Your Heart Out'

All the designers have heart – but the loser lacks taste

Wow. Now that Ping is gone, I just feel kind of deflated. Even if you didn’t like her buttless dresses and her tendency to model her own outfits, Ping was definitely a character during a season which seems pretty low on fun. This means Anthony better not leave anytime soon, or somebody needs to spike the water supply with over-the-counter cold medicine. I’m just saying, time to mix things up a bit.

[Full recap of Thursday's (Feb. 4) "Project Runway" after the break...]

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<p>&nbsp;Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley play dress-up again on 'The Vampire Diaries'</p>

 Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley play dress-up again on 'The Vampire Diaries'

Credit: Quantrell Colbert/The CW

Recap: 'The Vampire Diaries' - 'Children Of The Damned'

More bloodsucking flashbacks as Stefan and Damon recall the events that strained their relationship

It always comes back to Katherine, doesn’t it? As Stefan and Elena secretly work against Damon to find the Grimoire that can free Katherine, we flash back to the past to find out what exactly Stefan did to make Damon hate him for all of eternity. (Hint: it involves Katherine, their love triangle, and Kelly Hu.)

[Full recap of Thursday's (Feb. 4) "The Vampire Diaries," titled "Children of the Damned," after the break...]

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<p>&nbsp;Kara DioGuardi of 'American Idol'</p>

 Kara DioGuardi of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - Road to Hollywood

The 'Idol' season's final audition episode is a catch-all showcase

9:01 p.m. General Larry Plant is the only memorable contestant to audition for "American Idol," this season, a fact that the show sadly has no choice but to acknowledge as Wednesday (Feb. 3) night's "Road to Hollywood" special begins. The "Pants on the Ground" auteur is the only good *or* bad contestant to stir up any buzz in Season Nine, which can't possibly be ideal. But maybe Wednesday's episode will fix things?

9:02 p.m. Denver contestant Jessica Furney opts to sing something called "Footprints in the Sand," a composition notable for carrying Simon Cowell's name as a co-writer. It's an awful song, but Simon's new status as creative individual astounds that episode's guest judge, Posh Spice. She's through to Hollywood. I guess everybody tonight will be?

9:04 p.m. "We saved the best for last," Ryan Seacrest assures us. Oh good. Then why have we been watching for the past seven episodes and for the past eight-plus hours? It was one thing when this catch-all special was used to make sure that we didn't miss out on the few singers who weren't quite exciting enough to make individual audition episodes, but this season's openers have been all about the most intriguing stories and barely at all about the most talented singers. Does that mean that we're finally about to meet the next American Idol? Click through...

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<p>Terry O' Quinn's character John Locke may be dead, but as fans know, that hardly means he's off the show, and he played a key role in the season six premiere of 'Lost' tonight.</p>

Terry O' Quinn's character John Locke may be dead, but as fans know, that hardly means he's off the show, and he played a key role in the season six premiere of 'Lost' tonight.

Credit: ABC/Touchstone

Recap: 'Lost' season six premiere - 'LA X'

The two-hour kick-off to the final season breaks my brain

I'm going to have to watch that again.

Even taking notes, even looking at a few scenes a second time, I'm not 100% sure what I just saw, and I have a feeling that's exactly what Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse were aiming for.  Mission accomplished, gentlemen, because I'm hooked right back in, a junkie who didn't even realize he was jonesing until that first taste, and now I wish I could just download the whole season into my brain tonight so I could start sorting out exactly what they're up to.

There's a short recap at the start of the episode, and instead of trying to condense the entire mythology of the series into a few minutes, they carefully just highlighted a few key ideas and characters, starting with Jacob and the Man in Black sitting on the beach.  I think this sort of proves they're going to be the lynchpins to this final season.  Then we see Ben and the Alterna-Locke in the scene where Jacob is killed, and we hear the ominous line, "They're coming."  Then quickly, we're at the end of last year, and we're looking at Juliet in the base of that shaft, the bomb next to her, and as she hits it one last time, there's a flash of WHITE...

... and we're back on Oceanic Flight 815.  There's Jack, looking out the window.  The moments before the crash that started this whole thing.  We watch the build-up to the crash as he talks across the aisle to Rose, and then the plane starts to shake.  Here we go.  The whole thing's going to happen again...

... and then it doesn't.  The plane levels out.  Jack looks over at Rose, relieved.  "Looks like we made it."

"Yes," she responds.  "We did."  Bernard comes back from the bathroom, shaken up but no worse for wear, and Jack goes to wash his face.  He finds an odd cut on his neck.  When he comes back to his seat, Desmond is sitting in his row now, tired of his seat where some guy's been snoring since Sydney.

Wait a minute... Desmond's on the plane?  What the hell is going on?  Obviously something's been changed, but how did Desmond end up on the plane?  That was never part of the timeline in the first place.  He and Jack have a moment of deja vu, but then as it passes, we look out the window, then race out, down through the clouds, into the ocean where the Island should be.  We keep moving.  Down.  Down.  And we realize that what we're seeing is the Island, but it's completely underwater now.  We see familiar buildings, completely submerged and rotten, and then just after the Dharma Shark swims by (nice callback, everyone), we finally stop moving, staring right at a giant four-toed statue's foot.

Boom.  "Lost."

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<p>&nbsp;Simon Cowell of 'American Idol'</p>

 Simon Cowell of 'American Idol'

Credit: FOX

Recap: 'American Idol' - Denver Auditions

Simon, Randy and Kara join the Mile High Club. But not in the way you're thinking. Pervert.

7:55 p.m. ET. Look, I know I don't get a vote on these things, but in the future, if it would be possible not to have Oscar nominations, "American Idol," the "Lost" premiere and Groundhog Day all align together on the calendar, I'd really appreciate it. [And yes, I'm well aware that "Lost" premieres are never, alas, going to coincide with anything else ever again.]

7:56 p.m. I'm just really tired. So if I come across as extra incoherent or extra catty, The former is more likely than the latter. But you've been warned. Anyway, on to Tuesday (Feb. 2) night's "American Idol" after the break...

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<p>&nbsp;Milo Ventimiglia of 'Heroes'</p>

 Milo Ventimiglia of 'Heroes'

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Heroes' - 'The Wall'

With Peter and Sylar trapped in a nightmare world, Claire learns of Noah's past.

Usually, in the penultimate episode of a season, the action builds to a boiling point, with the finale serving as catharsis for the built-up tension. Well, “Heroes” never does things the normal way. So instead of featuring an episode full of action, “The Wall” focused on two chamber plays featuring four of its major characters. On one side, Noah and Claire just went for another spin on the “Why Didn’t He Ever Tell Her Before” Merry-Go-Round, whereas Peter and Sylar went on a mental Moonwalk of forgiveness inside of Parkman’s twisted nightmare world.

Oh, and Samuel finally revealed his endgame, which should make Mayor Bloomberg happy. But more on that at the end.

[Full recap of Monday's (Feb. 1) "Heroes" after the break...]

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<p>&nbsp;Since NBC has no episode-specific art for this episode, we're using this old &quot;Chuck&quot; promo.</p>

 Since NBC has no episode-specific art for this episode, we're using this old "Chuck" promo.

Credit: NBC

Recap: 'Chuck' - 'Chuck vs. the Nacho Sampler'

Chuck has to play Sarah to a new Chuck, while Sarah helps the old Chuck with a 'BSG' t-shirt

"Chuck" is in the process of turning a corner these days. Or, at the very least, "Chuck" is in the process of giving the impression that it's turning a corner. And, as those of us who have occasionally been known to operate automobiles know, you can't turn a corner too quickly or else you're going to end up flipping over and over again as "Rocket Man" over the sound of crunching metal*.

[* I think that was a reference to the classic Steve Prefontaine biopic "Without Limits," but sometimes the references get all jumbled up in your head and you end up referencing half of one thing and half of another thing and it becomes sufficiently unlike either thing that nobody knows what you were talking about. That's the sort of experience Quentin Tarantin calls, "an original thought."]

Monday (Feb. 1) night's "Chuck," titled "Chuck vs. the Nacho Sampler" was the third or fourth consecutive "Look Papa, I'm a Real Little Spy" episode of the Chuck-as-Espionage-Pinocchio third season. And that means the third or fourth episode in a row of Chuck uncovering the dramatic responsibilities of being a real spy and the third episode out of four where we've had "Chuck Is Becoming Sarah, Leaving Sarah Missing Her Chuck" undertones (or, in this case, overtones).

But the episode had Sarah in a "Frak Off" belly t-shirt, Weap-Con, a Mexican cantina called Two-and-a-Half Amigos and Kristin Kreuk in a jaunty tie. So there were myriad pleasures to be found...

More on "Chuck vs. the Nacho Sampler after the break...

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<p>&nbsp;Kiefer Sutherland of '24'</p>

 Kiefer Sutherland of '24'

Credit: FOX

Recap: '24' Day 8 - '9 p.m. to 10 p.m'

As Jack tries to keep Renee alive, the peace accord at the U.N. threatens to unravel.

So far, Season 8 hasn’t exactly gained much by moving the action to New York City. I guess I should be pleased that the show’s not exploiting overexposed landmarks in order to consistently remind viewers of the setting, but given the rather generic settings so far (The U.N. being the notable exception), the city itself hasn’t leant anything new to the proceedings. Did this hour bring anything new to the table? Not much, except to bring its female protagonists down even further. Here’s what went down.

[Full recap of Monday's (Feb. 1) "24" after the break...]

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