Is the new champion Brandon, Jeanine, Evan or long-time favorite Kayla?
Wow, it’s the season finale. I feel like we’ve been through something together, you and I. There’s been some crying (cancer dance), some mourning (Not Janette, no!), some highs (last night’s sexy Brandon/Jeanine paso doable), some lows (every non-hip-hop routine Phillip fumbled through). I feel like, at this point, I deserve a ring, a dress and a big-ass party with catering. Just saying.
Kicking things off, we have a really, really big group dance. The final twenty are back for this one, and I feel a little guilty, because some of these people? No clue who the hell they are. If you told me they were randomly yanked from the audience, I’d believe you. And I can only blame a little of that on the crappy camera work and the bad Cirque du Soleil make-up and costumes. But glad to see the producers got full use of that gigantic picture frame from earlier in the season, because you know that would cost an arm and a leg at Aaron Brothers.
Did Evan make a mistake going Broadway?
Okay, this is the big time, and I know that because Cat just said she’s in the 3,000 seat Kodak Theater, plus she’s wearing something shinier than usual and there’s wacky neon tubing all over the place, which implies Fox coughed up some money for the finale. Which, you know, they totally should, because these dancers are crazy good. In fact, so good I am going to be both really thrilled and really disappointed tomorrow, because every one of these four dancers deserves to win.
So, onto our judges. On the panel tonight is Adam Shankman, who will probably cry about something but that’s okay since I might join him, plus our regulars Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe.
Adam says he’s surprised at the four finalists but he thinks they’re amazing. Then he says there are 3,000 people in the audience, which he apparently needs to emphasize even though we already know this to be the case. Mary then says dancers feed off energy, and there will be a feast with 3,000 fans in the audience (really, 3,000? Because I didn’t know that), and those fans better bring it, which is vaguely threatening but she says it in a nice enough way. Nigel starts blabbering something about this being the gunfight at the OK Corral, which seems a little violent, although shooting and guns is something we haven’t seen in reality TV, so that might pop up in Season 7. It would be a huge hit with the NRA, so it definitely opens up another revenue stream for advertising.
In which a toga challenge gives Michele some power and Ronnie has to scurry
I'm still basking in the glow of Ronnie's head being on the chopping block, so you may need to give me a moment here. Ahhhh.... Okay, back to the game.
Lydia and Ronnie are, of course, on the block (I can't say that enough, really), and Ronnie says he has plenty of tricks up his sleeve, so he's not all that worried. Which again makes me wonder why Ronnie was ever in the Brains clique (really, nearsightedness and pastiness do not a smartypants make). He's also not sweating the POV competition, since he assumes Jessie, in his big guns manliness will win even if brainiac Ronnie doesn't. And this isn't a totally ridiculous theory, since Jessie does seem to have a certain eerily useful skill set when it comes to stupid competitions, but I'm so hoping he's wrong.
Sam gets suspicious, Jessica gets sexy and Sookie awaits rescue on HBO's 'True Blood'
If I think of Lafayette, he will appear. If I think of Lafayette, he will appear.
Dammit, it's just Sam, the shape-shiftin' sacrifice. We've had, what, six episodes of True Blood Season Two and we've gotten a lower percentage of Lafayette per episode than the juice content of a bottle of Orangina. Then again, the show writers have pretty much hamstrung Lafayette's character and turned him circumspect and sad and even a little boring. Maybe he should just stay rare.
[Recap for Sunday (August 2) night's "True Blood" after the break...]
In which the athletes retain HoH control, lots of prizes are given out and two players go up for eviction
Apologies to Ben Folds, but this show is edging toward a battle of who I can care about less. The real players emerging are pretty damn unlikable. I mean, can I sleep at night if I root for Jessie? Or Nathalie? Or, God forbid, Ronnie? Right now I'm hoping for a sudden upset from Jeff or Michele, or maybe the emergence of a soul in Russell, because otherwise, seriously, you can take these housemates and flush ‘em as far as I'm concerned.
Cat Deeley hates Thursdays and after this week's cuts, we understand why
We're going into the finale, everyone, so brace yourselves! Two more dancers are going home. And you know it's going to suck, because at this point no one really deserves to go home. So, yes, Cat, you can say it. Thursdays are not fun, or at least not anymore.
[To find out how un-fun Thursday (July 30) night's "So You Think You Can Dance" was, click through...]
In which somebody goes home, Julie introduces a new twist and the HoH is left hanging
Okay, I've seen the promos – there's a Big Twist in the works, Angry Smoking Banana Casey looks psyched and Michele is pissed. And, knowing promos, it means absolutely nothing. All I'm saying.
Julie Chen says tonight is graduation, which I guess we should have expected given the theme of the show. Although I will say the clique thing didn't seem to have much at all in common with real high school, in that the Popular clique (with the exception of Jordan) is out on its ass, the Brains (with the exception of Michele) are about as book smart as my handbag and the Off-Beats... well, they're all a little weird, so that can stand.
In individual and couple performances, Brandon and Kayla shine
Boy, this season is blowing by fast, isn't it? We're down to the final six, which means this show is going to be more stuffed full of starchy filler than a vegan Thanksgiving turkey. But gotta get those two hours of top ratings!
Lil 'C is back on judges' panel, which can only be good because he never makes any sense and he actually makes Mary and her corny jokes look like a towering paragon of coherence. Mary admits that she was shocked to see Janette go, then urges the American public to stop being a-holes and vote for the best dancer of the season, not favorite performances. Nigel agrees that people are voting for great routines, then says it's up to the dancers to emerge as stars to win it.
Then, it's time for the dancin'.
[Recap of Wednesday's (July 29) "So You Think You Can Dance" after the break...]
In which Jordan tires of being a pawn, Casey becomes a banana and the PoV brings change
Well, Jordan and Michele are on the block, all part of Jessie's master plan to backdoor... someone. Sure, it's supposed to be Ronnie, but c'mon, when has this game ever gone the way you want it to?
Bill sings, Jason contemplates celibacy, Lafayette gets a strange offer and Sookie may have trouble