The Long Shot: A salute to the non-contenders
Featuring my ideal-world Oscar ballot
Kaya Scodelario in "Wuthering Heights."
Are you a fan of In Contention?
Sign up to get the latest updates instantly.
Right, 'tis the night before Oscar Nomination Day, and plenty of creatures are still stirring. Many pundits are still feverishly tweaking their prediction lists, cross-referencing precursor lists and previous years' editions for clues, but like my HitFix colleagues, I've let mine go. These, for better or (probably) worse, are my final guesses -- some pragmatic, some playful -- and I don't much feel like shuffling them any further.
Nor, really, do I feel like talking about them much further. I could use this column to explain the method (minimal) behind my eight-nominee Best Picture lineup or the madness (maximal) behind predicting a Best Original Song nod for "The Sambola!," but any such rationalizations reach their sell-by date in just a few hours' time. I could look ahead to the next stage of the race, and the contenders likeliest to win it, but thanks to the Academy's reconfigured calendar, we still have over six weeks left in which to exhaust that topic. (Thank heavens we have some festivals in the interim to break up the conversation.)
Rather, in the vague spirit of this column's title, I'd prefer to use this Nomination Eve edition to raise a glass to the worthy films and individuals that won't be receiving the blessed phone call bright and early tomorrow morning. Except I don't mean the lovable million-to-one shots and on-the-bubble underdogs for which we only need cross our fingers a few hours longer before the Academy, in all probability, shatters their dreams (and ours).
I'm referring to the ones that are already, officially, out of the running. I may know as well as you do that Anna Kendrick isn't going to nab a Best Actress nod for "Pitch Perfect," and that my #6 film of the year, "Sister," has no propects beyond a Best Foreign Language Film nomination it'll do well to get. But at least they're on the formal list of possibilities -- which is to say, the list of 282 titles deemed eligible for main-category consideration in this year's Academy Awards. And that's more than can be said for a number of 2012's best theatrical releases.
Related
-
The Long Shot: Independent women
The Best Actress race is only as weak as voters choose to make it
-
The Long Shot: The drawbacks of being a wallflower
Why everyman stories get short shrift from the Academy
-
The Long Shot: Searching for sleepers in the Oscar guessing game
What's this year's little engine that could?
If I were a member of the Academy's cinematographers' branch, for example, I wouldn't have any hesitation in jotting down Robbie Ryan's name at the top of my ballot, for his breathtaking visual sorcery on the Yorkshire moors in Andrea Arnold's imposing redesign of "Wuthering Heights." But wait a minute, I wouldn't be able to -- despite a limited but legitimate release in the autumn, the Oscilloscope property hasn't jumped through the administrative hoops required to secure a place on the longlist of hopefuls.
Arnold's film is in good company on the bleachers. Shattering Australian true-crime drama "The Snowtown Murders," whose non-pro discovery Louise Harris would probably win my personal Best Supporting Actress award for 2012, can't be nominated either. Ditto a host of outstanding foreign-language features, from my own top film of 2012, "Tabu," through to "Miss Bala," "Elena" and Cannes-crowned critics' favorites "Once Upon a Time in Anatolia" and "The Kid With a Bike."
It's not just acclaimed independent fare from outside North America that is out of the race (or, if you prefer, was never in the race to begin with). "Sound of My Voice," which recently netted two major Independent Spirit nods, isn't on the list; neither are "Gayby," "The Color Wheel" or "Hello I Must Be Going," with its roundly praised lead turn by Melanie Lynskey.
Perhaps the most prominent absentee from the list is David Cronenberg's star-studded Cannes title "Cosmopolis," which has landed on several major year-end critics' lists; I probably wouldn't go so far as to vote for the calculatedly blank Robert Pattinson as Best Actor, but it'd be nice to have the option. (Cronenberg, who recently spoke of his disregard for awards season, is unlikely to be bothered.)
Any stray R.Pattz fans in the Academy may be crushed to learn that they can't vote for "Bel Ami" either -- if nothing else, the film boasted the year's most baitily corset-astic costumes until "Anna Karenina" flounced along.They can take comfort -- as can fans of all the aforementioned ineligibles -- in knowing that they're free to vote for "The Twight Saga: Breaking Dawn -- Part 2" in all categories. Or "That's My Boy," for that matter.
None of this is especially anyone's fault: the Academy has defined eligibility criteria, and it just so happens that the necessities of independent and arthouse distribution don't always abide my them: some of these films may not have played the required Los Angeles theatrical run, or may have disqualified themselves with a prior release in a non-theatrical format, or may simply not have been entered in the first place. Granted, almost all these titles would likely be ignored by voters even if they were eligible.
Either way, I'm pointing this out not to chide the Oscars, but to remind observers that these awards -- or indeed any others -- can't factor in everything that's going on in the bustling US and world cinema scenes. It'd help, of course, if the Academy would venture a little further even within their practical boundaries -- which is why the prospect of top nominations tomorrow for a foreign film like "Amour" (or even, much as I personally dislike the film, "The Intouchables") would be encouraging news.
As models of film production and distribution continue to expand beyond old-school theatrical formats, and as globalization muddies the definitions of Hollywood and mainstream cinema, the Oscars in their present shape may seem an increasingly antiquated institution, but it wouldn't be the worst thing if audiences came to recognize that even the shiniest film awards are far from all-encompassing -- and that 282 films make for a mere drop in the ocean of the global film industry.
On the next page, then, you'll find my ideal-world Oscar ballot, including many films not eligible for recognition tomorrow morning -- though all of them were US theatrical releases in 2012. (Consider this a truncated version of my annual two-part My Dream Ballot feature -- as much as I'd have liked to stick to the old format, time simply ran out.) Take a look, and share your own thoughts and favorites -- on or off the eligibility list -- below. See you bright and early tomorrow.
2012-2013 OSCAR PREDICTIONS
Best Picture
Best Director
Best Actor
Best Actress
Best Supporting Actor
Best Supporting Actress
Best Adapted Screenplay
Best Original Screenplay
Best Cinematography
Best Costume Design
Best Film Editing
Best Makeup And Hairstyling
Best Original Score
Best Original Song
Best Production Design
Best Sound Editing
Best Sound Mixing
Best Visual Effects
Best Animated Feature Film
Best Documentary Feature
Best Foreign Language Film
Latest Posts
-
Un Certain Regard entry sets pulses racing with surfeit of steamy gay actionFriday, May 17, 2013
-
Matthias Schoenaerts will also star in the Fox Searchlight co-productionFriday, May 17, 2013
-
Noah Baumbach's latest heads out in limited release this weekendFriday, May 17, 2013
-
The wrath of a sequel lands on screens this weekendFriday, May 17, 2013







Comments
Option 1
Comment instantly as a guest GuestOption 2
Option 3
Login or create a HitFix account Login SignupGuest
January 10, 2013 at 1:10AM EST Reply to CommentThis Guy has his head shoved so far up his own ass…
GlennAU You're trolling is tired.
January 10, 2013 at 3:37AM ESTCordy
January 10, 2013 at 1:16AM EST Reply to CommentI love your picks Guy, they are surprising but always make complete sense.
red_wine
January 10, 2013 at 1:30AM EST Reply to CommentExtremely interesting picks to parse through. It has atleast a dozen films which I can take as recommendations.
Paul Outlaw
January 10, 2013 at 1:34AM EST Reply to CommentYou are on a roll, Guy. Although I finally caught up with Magic Mike last week, and while there's much to appreciate about it, I was ultimately disappointed, in a Silver Linings Playbook sort of way. ("Is that all there is?")
Jeremy
January 10, 2013 at 1:44AM EST Reply to CommentKudos on the Juno Temple pick -- she took a potentially ludicrous role and imbued it with beauty, mystery, and savagery.
My own ballot would obviously look quite a bit different from yours -- especially seeing as "Looper", "Ruby Sparks," and "The Cabin in the Woods" combine to form precisely zero of your selections -- but your list is clearly personal in nature, and it's hard to ask for more than that.
Joe K
January 10, 2013 at 1:45AM EST Reply to CommentI really, really wish you got to vote for Oscars. They'd be so much weirder (and I mean that in the best sense). Also, Hell yes for the 21 Jump Street love. I thought I was the only person out there who thinks that screenplay is far more deserving than most of the Oscar contenders this year.
Joe K
January 10, 2013 at 1:46AM EST Reply to CommentI really, really wish you got to vote on the Oscars. They'd be so much weirder (and I mean that in the best sense). Also, Hell Yes to the 21 Jump Street love. I thought I was the only person who thinks that screenplay is far more deserving than most of the Oscar contenders this year.
someperson
January 10, 2013 at 1:56AM EST Reply to CommentDredd 3D gets a hypothetical Oscar nomination?
Guy, you wonderful bastard.
Al
January 10, 2013 at 1:56AM EST Reply to CommentDredd for production design? Hell yeah.
RichardZ
January 10, 2013 at 2:02AM EST Reply to CommentFor me, I'd have the best costume nod for Magic Mike.
It's so now-period and regional Tampa specific. The craft was being made in the film--the strippers made their own costumes! So meta.
/3rt
January 10, 2013 at 2:18AM EST Reply to CommentShocked by your omission of DULL TOOL from Fiona. I know you're a fellow fan and like me appreciate all new music she's willing to unleash.
Guy Lodge I like the song, but I haven't seen the film.
January 10, 2013 at 7:21AM ESTLocked Door
January 10, 2013 at 2:31AM EST Reply to CommentCan't believe Julia Roberts in Mirror Mirror was snubbed in Guy's alternate reality nominations. Did she just miss the cut in lead or supporting? I could see them positioning her as supporting even though it's a lead performance.
Guy Lodge She was on my Best Actress longlist. So many more names I wanted to include.
January 10, 2013 at 7:22AM ESTthekingbulletin
January 10, 2013 at 3:14AM EST Reply to CommentLove the picks across the board. Small question: Did Daniel Henshall never quite wow you as much as Louise Harris? I'm curious, since I find him every bit commanding as her (albeit in an entirely different key). He's arguably even a lead in the film, too, which may have factored into your consideration.
Dooby He was my standout, though Louise Harris certainly would find her way onto my own hypothetical ballot.
January 10, 2013 at 3:27AM ESTGuy Lodge He's great, and was in my next five for Best Actor.
January 10, 2013 at 7:22AM ESTGlennAU
January 10, 2013 at 3:39AM EST Reply to CommentWhat a list! I can't wait to be able to see the films listed that I haven't been able to yet (like TABU, MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, GINGER AND ROSA). Some very excellent choices in there - love the citations for titles like ELENA, THE TURIN HORSE, MIRROR MIRROR. And even though I didn't like the film, Louise Harris indeed deserves all the supporting actress awards she can get for SNOWTOWN (or THE SNOWTOWN MURDERS as it's known elsewhere). She is stunning (even if she'd be on my 2011 ballot since that's when it was released here).
morganisaqt
January 10, 2013 at 4:00AM EST Reply to Commenthttp://soverymiddleclass.blogspot.co.nz/2013/01/supporting-actress-of-year.html - my nominations - under supporting men we agree on a few things ;) YAY Tom Cruise
Evan
January 10, 2013 at 4:13AM EST Reply to CommentJust curious since you seem to be the person outside of the Academy who sees the great number of the submissions, which five of this year's submissions would you have nominated in Foreign Language Film?
Evan *greatest
January 10, 2013 at 4:19AM ESTGuy Lodge From the submissions: Lore, Amour, Sister, Our Children, No. On a different day, Barbara might make it in instead. Good pool to choose from this year.
January 10, 2013 at 7:25AM ESTmgd
January 10, 2013 at 5:22AM EST Reply to CommentFor years I have read critics compare certain films to a shot or punch to the stomach but never truly knew the meaning until watching the snowtown murders.
Alex_B
January 10, 2013 at 8:36AM EST Reply to Comment"Who Were We" shoulda been Oscar nominated :( along with Denis.
Patryk
January 10, 2013 at 6:31PM EST Reply to CommentI guess "Roadie," with fine performances from Ron Eldard, Bobby Cannavale and Lois Smith wasn't eligible either. It played for one week in NYC and disappeared. Catch it if you can, anyone!
Levi
January 11, 2013 at 2:09AM EST Reply to CommentIf I had seen this list before knowing who the creator was, I would diagnose the person as a paranoid schizophrenic. But since it is you Guy (whom I respect dearly), I'm afraid I will be having nightmares for the next week, or two, more fiendish than the thought that I am having right now of Tom Cruise and Nadezhda Markina being directed by Soderbergh on the fine art of bare backing, with Jonah Hill, dressed in a modest red Ishiota number, filling in as the cinematographer (presumably because Agnes Godard was more obbssesed with Denis Lavant's ice pick dick.) Otherwise, interesting list?! Salut! I no longer feel bat-shit. I say this with love. Honestly.