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Not gonna bog down into a political debate on the gun thing here. The liberal-minded will bang its head against a brick wall and the conservative-minded will decry the gall of another sect knowing what's best and it'll just be grossly, pathetically predictable.
That said, Jim Carrey's recent "Cold Dead Hand" video at Funny or Die taking the piss out of the National Rifle Association and its late leader actor Charlton Heston was, well, hilarious. Carrey has been outspoken about magazine limits and an assault rifles ban ever since the debate caught fire again in the wake of the Newtown, Connecticut massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December.
As a result, like clockwork, Fox News has breathlessly attacked the comedian as of late, and all of that scrambling has been almost as funny as the video itself. "He is probably the most pathetic tool on the face of the earth," Fox's Greg Gutfeld spat out, like some middle school bully scrambling for a good comeback. "I hope his career is dead and I hope he ends up sleeping in a car the way his life began."
Well, Carrey has a thing or two to say about that and returned fire this week with the following statement.
"Since I released my 'Cold Dead Hand' video on Funny or Die this week, I have watched Fux News rant, rave, bare its fangs and viciously slander me because of my stand against large magazines and assault rifles. I would take them to task legally if I felt they were worth my time or that anyone with a brain in their head could actually fall for such irresponsible buffoonery. That would gain them far too much attention which is all they really care about.
"I'll just say this: in my opinion Fux News is a last resort for kinda-sorta-almost-journalists whose options have been severely limited by their extreme and intolerant views; a media colostomy bag that has begun to burst at the seams and should be emptied before it becomes a public health issue.
"I sincerely believe that in time, good people will lose patience with the petty and poisonous behavior of these bullies and Fux News will be remembered as nothing more than a giant culture fart that no amount of Garlique could cure.
I wish them all the luck that accompanies such malevolence."
If you missed the Funny or Die sketch, check it out below. My favorite bit: "Clearly Sam Elliott." Meanwhile, Carrey's film "The Incredible Burt Wonderstone" is currently floundering at the box office, so maybe that's some solace for poor Mr. Gutfeld.
You can download "Cold Dead Hand" at iTunes if you want. It's catchy.