Okay, so we still have Christmas to deal with, but in the unlikely event that you've already been making plans for your Easter weekend next April, you may want to adjust them. Hunting for chocolate eggs? Check. Going to church? Check. Baking hot cross buns? Check. Watching the conclusion of a Lars von Trier sex epic? Check.

Yes, Magnolia Pictures has at last confirmed the US release dates for both halves of "Nymphomaniac," and it all comes to a head, so to speak, on Good Friday, April 18 -- when Part Two will be set free into theaters. Part One, meanwhile, precedes it by nearly a month, hitting screens on March 21.

Of course, if you're really impatient to see what Lars and the gang have been up to, the film will be available on VOD first: Part One on March 6, and Part Two on April 3. That's customary practice with Magnolia titles, though I think whatever hell Lars has unleashed, it would probably be best experienced on a big screen. (The on-demand option does, however, mean that you can watch the first one mere days after the Oscars. Just to, you know, get the 2014 Best Picture discussion going early.)

Denmark, of course, is getting both films on Christmas Day, which bookends the Good Friday release date nicely: let it never be said that von Trier doesn't throw a good holiday party. Magnolia's synopsis, meanwhile, explains how the cast will be divvied up between the films:

NYMPHOMANIAC: PART ONE is the story of Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg), a self-diagnosed nymphomaniac who is discovered badly beaten in an alley by an older bachelor, Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård), who takes her into his home. As he tends to her wounds, she recounts the erotic story of her adolescence and young-adulthood (portrayed in flashback by Stacy Martin). PART ONE also stars Shia LaBeouf, Christian Slater, Uma Thurman, Sophie Kennedy Clark, Connie Nielsen and Udo Kier. PART TWO picks up with the story of Joe’s adulthood, and stars Jamie Bell, Willem Dafoe, Mia Goth and Jean-Marc Barr in addition to Gainsbourg, Skarsgård, Martin and LaBeouf.

Will you be rushing out to see "Nymphomaniac?" Perhaps as an Easter treat? Take the family.