Robin Thicke released his new music video for "Get Her Back" today, which has everybody abuzz with a similar sentiment: um, what a creep.
The singer is shirtless, with waves of ghostly lady-figures haunting his narration. "I never should have raised my voice or made you feel so small / I never should have asked you to do anything at all," he sings at his now-estranged wife Paula Patton, for whom he's made this song, this video and his entire album -- I kid you not -- "Paula." His face is bleeding and texts fly across the screen.
"I made an album for you."
"I don't care."
"This is just the beginning..."
Girl, change your number.
While the brazen attempt to "get her back" is bold at the very least, there are a few issues that come up in this A/V adventure that have been repeated in Thicke's YouTube playlist. The R&B star has been offending the senses in a myriad of ways in the past decade, and sometimes in the same ways.
Let's dive in, starting with this one:
I have confuse. Did they get into a physical fight? Is it an allegorical fight that's wearing domestic violence as its trade in barbs? Whatever the implication, the crooner is crying and shirtless but otherwise motionless, as bare women's arms swipe across his unclothed chest, an invitation to the notion, "I can see how Thicke sexiness would be a problem in this monogamous relationship, 'mrite?" then high-five your neighbor.
If these texts are real, then he's airing some of his own seriously dirty laundry and -- what's the word? -- embarrassing her yet again with them. If they're not real, then you're courting drama, mama. At least Shia LaBeauf took on visitors when he said #ImSorry.
"Blurred Lines": Might as well open this old wound now. Thicke and his merry band of gray-zoned boners beam as mostly-naked ladies put on a little show for them. The good girls' infantilism mingles easily with sexual positions, which director Diane Martel described as "it’s very, very funny and subtly ridiculing... It also forces the men to feel playful and not at all like predators." Lol, satire, and as Thicke put it to GQ, "What a pleasure it is to degrade women."
There's intention, and then there's perception.
"Do It 2 U": Thicke must get tired easily because here he is, cooling his heels, as hundreds of women spin around him. Using black women's bodies as sexualized props and accessories is no new feat, but step squads, cheerleading teams and other dance troupes of a certain persuasion are used to literally celebrate Robin Thicke and his featured artists.
"Feel Good": I like to think that Robin Thicke wears his bowtie untied because Robin Thicke doesn't know how to tie a bowtie and has hired a hoard of pantsless zombie lady-dancers wearing bowties to tie it for him.
"All Tied Up": After laying in a bed in a manner in which no woman ever lays in a bed even as she's come-hithering, notice how Thicke then gets the bed while she gets the floor. "Stroke my ego," indeed. Also, this video was made for $5 and a brassier from Anthropologie.
Amount of energy exerted by Thicke, other than what it must have taken him to lift his arms so his assistant could take his tank top off: zero. And a see-through lace swimsuit cover-up does not a pair of pants make.
"Pretty Lil' Heart": THE MAN LITERALLY HAS TO STAGGER AND THEN LAY DOWN ON THE GROUND. He is EXHAUSTED. Still, though, for ladies, this remains a pants-free zone. At least the monkey gets a shirt.
"Lost Without You": Ah, 2006, the first video Patton did with Thicke. This, the man who compliments his lady love by saying she's "the perfect weight." A man who sings while his wife tries to find a pair of pants, fails, then takes a shower.
"Love After War": Finally to what you could call the prequel to "Get Her Back." "Don't you love it when we fight?" he coos back when things were still fun in 2011, when the love affair with Beats was going strong and her clothes were long gone. "The beginning..." it warns at the end. "I never should have asked you to do anything at all..." echoing.