The next big abuse of an Internet app is here! Microsoft just released How Old Do I Look?. The app is intended to take a photo of a real live, human person and guess their age and gender using a the magic of mathematical algorithm.

But what fun is that!?

There are no safety protocols on this shiny new toy. You can upload anybody…to hilarious results. For example…

Let’s start with something easy. He Who Must Not Be Named.


What about the bicycle zombie from the first season of “The Walking Dead”? How old is she?

Harsh, Microsoft…way harsh.


How about the Joker?


Or Freddy Krueger?



Oddly, the app didn’t see Chucky’s face but COULD see his wife’s.


Let’s try someone happier. How old is Morticia Addams?


How well does the algorithm fair in a group shot? Let's find out, using the Avengers!

Apparently the app doesn’t dare guess Steve Rogers age and doesn’t even see Tony or Bruce as human. Rude.


What about the Borg Queen?

No. She’s not a dude!


Okay, here’s the kicker. How old is Gollum??

Smeagol looks like a lady?


But even ‘How Old Do I Look?’ knows when not to hazard a guess, lest its digital life be endangered.


Fair enough.


This is just the tip of the hilarious iceberg. Find your own characters or creatures, feed them into the app, and leave the results in the comments!


Mom. Wife. Geek. Gamer. Feminist. Writer. Sarcastic. Succinct. Donna has been writing snark for the Internet in one form or another for almost a decade. She has a lot of opinions, mostly on science-fiction, fantasy, feminism, and Sailor Moon. Follow her on Twitter (@MildlyAmused) for more of all these things.