’Tis the season to gouge out eyeballs, tra la la la la....
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"Santa's Slay" (2005)
What It Is: So, you've heard of the virgin birth? Well, Satan orchestrated something similar, and thus we got a kill-happy Santa. There's more to it than that, but it's all fully ridiculous.
Why Your Holidays Will Never Be the Same: You will wonder who had blackmail material on Emilie de Ravin ("Lost," "Once Upon A Time") to cast her in this pine-scented abomination.
Your Secret Santa Gift: A buff Santa (the part is played by retired wrestler Bill Goldberg).