Watch them now at your own peril
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (1964)
What We Loved About It As Kids: "I wish I had a little Rudolph toy! Where's the cross-promotional marketing that will kick in in the 21st century?"
Why It's Totally Messed Up: Yes, we know this hews pretty closely to the song, but did you ever pay any attention to how the dad, Donner, is horrified by his red-nosed (subtext, if you want to go there: gay) kid, but only comes around once someone else (Santa) finds him useful? Santa doesn't really accept him, mind you, but sees him as a necessary evil. There's never an apology from Donner (or Santa) for being a hateful asshat. There are entire seasons of "Nashville" devoted to crappy parental behavior like this.
Why We'd Watch Now: Who are we kidding? This one's on every year, and we still watch it.