Asuka and Vitolio

Choreographer: Mandy Moore, jazz

Monkeys As Critics' Verdict: Heartbreakers

Fun facts: Asuka would make cheap-looking jewelry, and Vitolio would sing badly in a rock band. So really, thank God they can dance. And how cute are these two? Asuka cries, Vitolio hugs her, everyone melts (and hello, what the hell is wrong with Mandy Moore kicking Asuka when she's down, grumbling "I think you are, too," when Asuka says, "I think I'm slow"? That was just mean, Mandy Moore. Shame on you!). They probably could have flopped around the dance floor like spastic puppets and it wouldn't have mattered after the aw-shucks intro about how much they care about one another, but no, they rocked out to Pat Benetar pretty darn well. Nigel thought they brought it, Mary expected more but still said the routine was good and Toni said they have the potential to develop into an extremely strong couple. So, not great, not hot tamale train material, but good enough to stay out of the bottom three, if you ask me.

And can I just say, can Toni Basil come back every week? Or at least come back any week Lil 'C is scheduled to talk crazy nonsense so she can blow him out of the water? Of all the guest judges, she's my absolute favorite because she knows her stuff. And not just because, hello, she's the "Oh, Mickey" girl. But that helps.