"[Kanye's] drunken stage invasion at the last MTV awards show I hosted took a lot of pressure off me," said Brand in his opening monologue, referencing the rapper's Taylor Swift-directed microphone swiping at the 2009 VMAs. Too bad the temperamental hip-hop star wasn't here to save him this time. Less than two minutes into Brand's shrill, painfully unfunny hosting performance, it was all I could do not to plug my ears (not to mention cover my eyes to avoid having to stare at his insufferably douchey outfit one second longer) and hope that someone in the auditorium would take it upon themselves to wrestle the damn microphone away from him. If he weren't so annoying, I might have actually felt bad for the guy...but nah.

- Chris Eggertsen