The trophies were important, but who claimed best and worst of Oscar night?
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Winner: Kirk Douglas
Oh. I'm sorry. Did the presence of a 94-year-old acting legend and heroic stroke survivor speaking a little slowly on stage make you UNCOMFORTABLE? Get over it. Whatever Kirk Douglas wants to do and is physically able to do, Kirk Douglas gets to do. That's just the rule. And the old guy still has ridiculously great comedic timing and he was able to do what nobody else could do: Shut Melissa Leo up and get her off the stage. We're quite confident that Kirk Douglas could have out-hosted James Franco on Sunday night.