LOSER: Johnny Depp
What Went Wrong in 2013: Tonto, damn it. While I fully understand the urge to reinvent the Lone Ranger's sidekick, and I would prefer a Depp/Verbinski film to a Depp/Burton film any day of the week, when you push the envelope constantly, there are going to be times when it just plain tears. All you really need to know about how wrong this one landed could be learned by walking into any Halloween shop in the country and looking at all of the unpurchased Tonto costumes or wandering the toy store aisles this Christmas, where you can find any "Lone Ranger" toy you want… because no one else does.
What's Ahead in 2014: He's playing the literal ghost in the machine for Wally Pfister's "Transcendence," and then he's playing The Wolf in the long-anticipated film version of the Sondheim musical "Into The Woods." We're going to pay the price for a year away from franchise roles, though, when he follows that up with another Jack Sparrow and another Mad Hatter back to back for 2016.
- Drew McWeeny