Relive the best (Crystal) and worst (Tim, Paige) of Tuesday's Billboard Hot 100 Night performances
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Tim Urban of 'American Idol' performs on Billboard Hot 100 Night
Singer: Tim Urban
Song: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"
Monkeys As Critics' Take: Robert Browning observed, "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp." He didn't know it, but he was referring to Tim Urban, a man with an almost pathological obliviousness to his own limitations. His meeting with Miley Cyrus is like a showdown of teen idols and it ends, as you'd hope, in a hug. They'd have very cute children together. I encourage it. The song has been so very lowered that it's almost unrecognizable. But the melody doesn't even matter. Tonight is all about Tim playing around. He sprints around the stage. He does a full slide. He skips down the steps and stands in a sea of his squealing admirers. If you didn't know this was a Queen song, you'd have no idea, because none of the vocal gymnastics remain. Really, none of the notes remain. He occasionally shouts a few words, because otherwise there'd be no reason for all of the prancing. But hey, he's better than last week and he's less bad than Paige. This was Jon Peter Lewis-esque, in that it was a singer saying, "Screw you, you were never gonna compliment my vocals anyway." That's an approach.
Randy, Ellen, Kara and Simon Say: Yo. Randy asks Tim if he had a good time. Tim agrees. Then Randy tries arguing that this is a singing competition, calling the vocals boring. Ellen calls it an audition for the "High School Musical" franchise, stealing Simon's use of "corny." Kara whips out "Hairspray" as her point of reference, saying that Tim isn't really popular enough to have had the pretense of popularity. Simon accurately points out that the best part about the sliding was that it distracted from the vocals. Simon tells Tim he has zero chance of winning if he doesn't try to become contemporary and relevant.