There was Spider-Man dangling from the ceiling and snarkmeisters were praying for an epic disaster. Instead, it was a stuntman swinging around in the suit. The show's Broadway leading man Reeve Carney was up on stage singing -- quite well -- with Bono and U2. Nobody died. Nobody even fell. And the closing upside-down kiss was set up without a single broken bone. Where's the drama, "Idol"? Where were the casualties? Is this what comes from jettisoning Julie Taymor? You'd think "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark" was just another musical the way that performance went, rather than New York's most expensive deathtrap.