Some things just aren't scary, no matter how hard you try.
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"Amityville Horror 4: The Evil Escapes"
"Horror" villain: Demon-possessed lamp.
Are You Serious Right Now?: How do you make a lamp scary? Answer: you don't. A dead-eyed Patty Duke reaches her career nadir in this made-for-TV gem, in which a malevolent light fixture from the original Amityville Horror house becomes hell-bent on destroying another boring white family. Lucky you, the entire thing is now available for viewing on YouTube.
- Chris Eggertsen