Against all odds, it looks like Lady Gaga has actually outdone herself in the outfit department. The singer appeared in Berlin yesterday wearing a puffy off-yellow hat-mask-thing that covered her entire face and head. And now the public is clamoring for answers, demanding to know: uh, what the hell is it?

Here are my 5 best guesses as to what Gaga's head decoration is supposed to be.

1. A loofah

Feeling dirty? Do you need Lady Gaga to come hang out while you shower and soap you up with body wash with her head? That actually sounds kind of fun.

2. A blonde merkin

 Is the word merkin not instantly recognizable to you? Ahem. How's "blonde vagina wig"?

3. A spatula

Ah, that most prosaic of kitchen tools. Might Gaga be making a statement about the spatula?

4. A chicken nugget

Rumor has it, a chicken nugget was actually Gaga's inspiration for this ensemble! But I'm skeptical. In fact, now that we're in the arena of food, I think I have it figured out.

5. A scone

It's a scone. It's definitely a scone. Lady Gaga has decided her head should be adorned with a breakfast pastry -- but kudos for not going with the obvious choice of an English muffin.

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Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.