The Internet's full of documentation suggesting that Tyra Banks is made not of human, but hellbeast DNA, and it's finally all in one place thanks to a youngin' named Tiffany Mascarenhas. You get Vaseline! And you get Vaseline! And you get recurring nightmares! And you get an inferiority complex! And you get panic attacks!

And you, you get to watch Larry King attempt a smize.

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Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.