Nice try, boneheads, but giving birth is hardly the worst part of pregnancy. That would be the nine months of somehow remaining human while a growing parasite plays house inside your body, depleting you of nutrients, making you vomit, and permanently changing your metabolism for the worse. Also: maternity wear is way hideous.

Next up in nontraditional romantic gifts: a man gets breast implants, but they're really, really small and unappealing.

(via Videogum)

Liana-maeby-med
Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.