In impressive news, the other day I went for a 10-minute walk around the block and felt really proud of myself for getting some exercise. In less impressive news, two men in their 80s are competing with one another to win the record for being the oldest person to climb Mount Everest. Like, ALL THE WAY up it. To the top.

An 80-year-old Japanese man named Yuichiro Miura successfully reached the peak of the mountain early this morning, making him the oldest fella ever to do so. But his title may be short-lived as an 81-year-old Nepalese man named Min Bahadur Sherchan is preparing for a climb of his own. The elder gent will embark on his journey early next week -- and if he makes it to the top, he'll reclaim the title from Yuichiro Miura, as Min had established the previous record by hiking the mountain at the age of 76.

HOWEVER, in yet another twist, it turns out that Min Bahadur Sherchan stole that title from Yuichiro Miura, who had reached the top of Mount Everest at the age of 75 years and 227 days. And prior to that? Yuichiro Miura climbed the mountain as a 70-year-old. Before all this went down, the record for oldest Everest climber was held by a four-year-old Husky.

Clearly these men are two of the greatest rivals of all time, like David and Goliath, except they're both David, in that part of the story where he goes to the Valley of Elah Nursing Home and spends his days defeating crossword puzzles by penciling in the name "GOLIATH" and wearing a Burger King crown.

In other remarkable news, neither of my shoelaces have come untied once today.