According to Tina Fey, the High Empress Of All Funny Things And Also Princess Leia Apparel, Ellen DeGeneres will be the first queen of late night network comedy. She explained her theory to giggly new late night host Seth Meyers, who giggled.

I was going to call this theory silly, but then I remembered that a woman's wardrobe really does shift dramatically from age 35-65. So maybe underneath Tina's sarcastic tone, there's some soupçon of relevant information here -- which is probably unfortunate.

Ellen has gone on air and expressed disinterest in moving to late night, and that's probably a smart tactic. Her style is and always has been a fit for daytime; a move to late night would totally upend her lunchtime dance-break vibe, and without that vibe, what is Ellen? A tepid "American Idol" commentator, yes. Stay put, Mrs. Portia!