I can't quite describe why this is the most magnificent child I've ever seen, but I'll try my hardest: 1) He keeps repeating, "I've never been on live TV before!" like Mike Teevee from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." 2) He says the word "apparently" a whole bunch, and he turns into Wallace Shawn every time he does. 3) He utters the phrase, "Scared half to death." He is both four years old and 1,400 years old. God bless.