Track suits and turbans came together in star-studded fashion on "SNL" last night thanks to "Three Wise Guys," in which host John Goodman and "Grudge Match" co-stars Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone played "lesser" versions of the Biblical Magi present at the scene of the baby Jesus's virgin birth. "Do we even know his last name, this Jesus?" asks one. "Christ, I don't know," answers another. Also, the inevitable camel toe joke. Merry freakin' Christmas, everybody.

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A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.