Springfield, Oregon is hereby deemed the only true Springfield.
Denizens of all other Springfields are bowing their heads in shame today with the news that the picturesque northwest burg has been chosen to receive an official "Simpsons" mural on the side of their art center, because creator Matt Groening grew up there and now has hundreds of millions of dollars. While there's no artwork available at this time, city spokesman Niel Laudati says the mural will depict Homer lounging in a hammock, Bart climbing a tree, Marge painting, and Lisa and Maggie riding a bike.
So tell me, Other Springfields, which TV geniuses did you spawn hmmm?
"Legendary voice actress June Foray?" offers Springfield, Massachussetts sheepishly. Psshhhh!! Did June Foray create a multi-billion-dollar empire? No! No, she did not. She did a couple dumb animal voices and now she's 96. Next!
"'Grey's Anatomy' star Justin Chambers is a pretty good act --" begins Springfield, Ohio, before quickly thinking better of it
"How about 'Home Movies' and 'Metalocalypse' creator Brendon Small?" asks Springfield, Illinois pathetically, as if creating a couple of Adult Swim shows is comparable to the brilliance of a landmark series like "The Simpsons." Oh my god, you did not just say that, Springfield, Illinois. You did not.
"Hey, but we hosted the official premiere of 'The Simpsons Movie!" cries out Springfield, Vermont defensively. Oh gee, you mean the premiere where Matt Groening sent a plaque to Springfield, Oregon that said, “Yo to Springfield, Oregon — The Real Springfield!” because he obviously wanted to hold the premiere there and not in Vermont? Is that the premiere you're talking about, losers?
Any other Springfields care to challenge the ultimate authority of Springfield, Oregon? State your case below and then prepare to be disgraced, ridiculed and condescended to.
2013 | Comedy | NRSummary: Insanely funny comedy show created by Amy Schumer, who stars in brilliantly funny sketches about sex, city living, dating, and friendship.Director: Daniel Powell, Amy Schumer (creators)
Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
2007 | Comedy | PGSummary: Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.Director: Steve Carr
Cast: John C. McGinley, Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by. It has deep soul, a wicked sense of humor, and Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, and Robert Forster.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
2013 | Thriller | RSummary: Based on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) a Miami bodybuilder who wants to live the American dream. He would like to have the money that other people have. So he enlists the help of fellow bodybuilder Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and ex-convict, Christian bodybuilder Paul Doyle (D...Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
1996 | Crime | RSummary: Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start ...Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Cast: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare
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