In an apparent attempt to cross "Become a low-rent Japanese action star" off his greasy middle-aged rock star bucket list, craggy-faced Van Halen frontman and recent Tokyo transplant David Lee Roth has posted a new short film to his official YouTube account that's like an unholy mash-up between "Kill Bill" and a late-era Steven Seagal revenge thriller, sans irony and Steven Seagal but with way more juice-guzzling and David Lee Roth saying stuff like "In the name of the Moon, I shall right wrongs and defeat all evil." Now that sounds like a tall order David, but okay.