5 Secret Goosebumps Movies Starring Jack Black
Jack Black has been tapped to play R.L. Stine, author of the beloved 'Goosebumps' series, in the film adaptation. Instead of using one of the many books for the movie franchise, it turns out Stine's monsters are real and he can only contain them by writing them into novels that double as prisons. You can read the whole synopsis over here.
Sure many — sane — people would look such a meta concept and ponder if humanity has gone too far. Well I say no! In fact, we've not gone far enough into the meta wormhole! What if Jack Black as R.L. Stine as Jack Black had to keep the monsters of Goosebumps contained by being in a series of mediocre films? WHAT IF THIS EXPLAINS JACK BLACK'S WHOLE CAREER? In fact, I went back with a special Goosebumps-light* to check for anomalies and it's totally true! Jack Black has been meta-meta saving us from evil for years.
*Basically like a backlight for Dateline hotel exposes only for movie posters to determine if the actor was keeping monsters contain within the celluloid...which is totally a real thing and not actually Photoshop because hahahaha who would spend their time photoshopping Jack Black movie posters???
#1 - 'Shallow Hal' was actually a horror movie about a shadow parasite.
#2 - 'Nacho Libre' is what happens when haunted masks discover the Luchador circuit.
#3 - Lilliput is obviously a demonic amusement park, how could we have been so blind?
#4 - If Skull Island isn't cursed, how do you explain 'King Kong' getting remade?!
#5 - 'Year One' wasn't a truly terrible movie, it was a marionette plot to ruin Black's career and stop him once and for all. But they failed.