Reality show catchprases you won't want to hear on a date
No, you pack your knives and you go!
Follow HitFix: Follow @hitfix
Watching a lot of reality TV can take its toll on us in weird ways. Whether you’re one of those people who confesses to a camera every time your roommate forgets to do the dishes or someone feels the urge to start a war every time you see a cupcake, its effect on our collective subconscious is undeniable. For me, the consequence of too much Bravo and TLC comes out whenever I I find myself in an uncomfortable situation and wish I could deliver a good elimination catchphrase to put an immediate end to the experience. Cut to commercial and we’re out! But alas, I live in the real world and not on “The Real World,” so my fantasies of being a Heidi Klum with Donald Trump's body must remain simply fantasies. But if I were a more brazen gal, here are 10 reality show kick-off phrases I’d keep in my arsenal, ranked in order of the most horrible to the most wonderful thing to hear on a date.
10. “I’m sorry, you have been chopped.” (Chopped)
Although losing a limb does make a good bad date story, it probably isn’t worth the pain and the inconvenience – unless, of course, you’ve got an important dinner party coming up.
9. “Take off your jacket and leave Hell’s Kitchen.” (Hell’s Kitchen)
Yet still better than, “Put your pants back on and leave Williamsburg.”
8. "I'm sorry. You’ve both been eliminated from the race.” (The Amazing Race)
Like, the human race? Maybe that means you get to be a squirrel!
7. “The Tribe has spoken. It’s time for you to go.” (Survivor)
I feel like this would only be said at a Burning Man party, which is already a sign you're on a horrible date.
6. “You’re fired!” (The Apprentice)
“You can’t fire me, I quit! Um, can we go Dutch on the check?”
5. “You will not be the next Iron Chef.” (The Next Iron Chef)
This is a pretty disappointing thing to hear even if you don’t have culinary aspirations.
4. “Please pack your knives and go.” (Top Chef)
A rejection, sure, but at least this means you have the upper hand as the one who brought a set of knives along on a date!
3. "Now, sashay away." (RuPaul’s Drag Race)
“Unless you’d prefer to do the Macarena into my heart.”
2. “Auf Wiedersen.” (Project Runway)
Lucky you, getting to spend an evening with an adorable German. Don’t forget to steal a küssen before you go!
1. "You are not the biggest loser." (The Biggest Loser)
Oh man - you're getting a second date for sure!
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
2013 | Comedy | NRSummary: Insanely funny comedy show created by Amy Schumer, who stars in brilliantly funny sketches about sex, city living, dating, and friendship.Director: Daniel Powell, Amy Schumer (creators)
Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
Looking for something to watch?
Let Streaming Genie help you.
Let Streaming Genie help you.