Confession: I have never participated in fantasy football. But I have participated in Dungeons & Dragons, Shadowrun, World of Darkness, and the Star Wars RPG. So I know a little bit about creating a fictional team of players based on stats.

For years America has been divided in two: the geeks and the jocks. But all those years spent fighting each other Charles, when we really had so much in common? Such a waste. Don't believe me? Did you know the quarterback is basically the wizard and the running back is DPS? Well now you do.

So armed with that knowledge, behold the geeky wonder that is the Manning Bros. faux rapping about DirecTV's new Fantasy Zone channel. And then get irritated that SyFy doesn't have the tabletop equivalent.