Well great, now I want an elephant. And I won't be happy until I have one. But not just any elephant, I want Peter himself. I'll saddle him up and ride him through traffic down the streets of Los Angeles. And I'll teach him to play an instrument more suitable for a creature of his size, like the tuba.

(via Videogum)

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.