Congratulations, Johnny Depp - your next shitty movie franchise has risen from the cultural cesspool.
Hoist your goblets and turkey legs, ladies and lords, because the brilliant minds at Benderspink and Broken Road Films have combined to develop a feature film based on Medieval Times, the "branded dinner and tournament venue" (a.k.a. chain restaurant) that has been playing host to drunk, annoying college students around the country since 1983.
Good lord, what's next? A movie based on troll dolls?
And now, a real-life Medieval Times tournament as narrated by a group of sexually-confused frat boys: