Today in "Mrs. Doubtfire 2" news (yes, you read that right, and no, you have not inadvertently traveled back to the year 1995), "Mrs. Doubtfire 1" star Mara Wilson wants nothing whatsoever to do with the belated sequel because...well, let's just say she's been quite verbose on the topic via her (shockingly delightful) official Twitter account. See, Twitter! Didn't even exist in 1995! Deep breaths...

And now, without further adieu, here are seven reason why we won't be seeing the adorable former '90s child star (who is now 26! <dies from shock>) showing up in the cash-grabby followup:

1. She's not into sequels.

2. Sequels are terrible, usually.

3. She has standards, which are easy to have when you aren't being offered millions of dollars.

4. She's a grown-ass woman whose last movie was 2000's "Thomas and the Magic Railroad."

5. There would be no narrative integrity in a "Mrs. Doubtfire" sequel.

6. She doesn't take orders from Twitter bullies.

7. They're just going to ask Emma Watson to play the part anyway.

Matthew "Joey Lawrence's Brother" Lawrence, on the other hand? Is totally on board.

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A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.