Looking at an abstract painting and saying, “My toddler could do that!” makes you an obtuse philistine everyone is secretly rolling their eyes at, but looking at an abstract painting and saying, “My horse could do that!” makes you the coolest guy in the room. By that logic, the coolest people in any room are Ron and Wendy Krajewski, the owners of a 10-year-old thoroughbred named Metro Meteor who happens to be a conceptual painter. (Okay, fine, I added the word “conceptual” to the horse’s description because it was more absurd-sounding than “abstract” – Ron and Wendy are not quite that ridiculous.)
Metro spent the early part of his life as a racehorse, and learned to paint after he was retired due to failing knees, presumably because horses can’t fit on cruise ships and are too unwieldy for Bingo. He paints by holding the brush in his mouth and not eating it before it reaches the canvas. Metro’s painting sell for upwards of $2000 and his retrospective at the Whitney is set to open, well, probably never. But ain’t he just the cutest darn thing you’ve ever seen?
You can check out his website here.


Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.