Hey, what would James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich look like in a cubicle? Let "SportsCenter" show you.

The long-running ESPN series has been putting out some pretty buzzworthy commercials over the last few years - even I know this, and I've never actually watched ESPN on purpose - and their latest ad sees the members of Metallica fumbling about for a new gig now that Yankees relief pitcher Mariano Rivera (whose entrance song was the group's killer 1991 single "Enter Sandman," evidently) has retired from football. Whoops, I mean baseball. I don't know what I'm doing. Where is up? Where is down? Is punting a sport? Questions.

Anyway, this is cute. Kirk Hammett strumming his guitar in a corporate break room? I want to go to there.

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A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.