Comedy genius Martin Short is on "Conan" tonight, and let's just say his telemarketer story starts out like your basic mindless, go-nowhere talk show chatter before taking a truly amazing turn at the end. As an added bonus you get to hear Martin Short scream "Suck my ass, you prick!" at maximum volume, which is always a guaranteed good time.

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A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.