Gwyneth Paltrow really blew it when she turned down Louis C.K.'s invitation to breed, because then Apple would have had red hair.

And Gwyneth is so the type to color-coordinate her children.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.