Advance word on next weekend's "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" is currently through the roof (our own Drew McWeeny gave it an A+), but let's put that out of our minds for now. Because today we're traveling back to the 2001 release of Tim Burton's infamously terrible "Planet of the Apes" remake, in which Mark Wahlberg's penchant for nostril-flaring was at an all-time high and Helena Bonham Carter suffered the indignity of having her angular porcelain visage covered by pounds and pounds of ape makeup.

Remember? Is it all coming back now? Good (deep breaths). Now take a moment to reflect with not one but two bits of mockery, courtesy of ScreenJunkies' Honest Trailer series and Cinema Sins' "Everything Wrong With..." Movie Sins counter. Just a warning: by the end of the latter you may feel the need to throw your popcorn at the insufferable movie geek providing a running commentary in the row behind you.

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A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.