Let's Admire the Oklahoma Capitol's New Satan Monument
This is what you get what you rile the New York-based Satanic Temple -- a beautiful statue honoring the sweet lord of the underworld. Hail, art!
Let me explain: The Satanic Temple raised money to build this statue after a legislator installed a Ten Commandments statue in the Oklahoma Capitol two years ago. It seemed like a lark contrarian enterprise for a bit, but the effort has garnered $30,000 in donations. Apparently 30k is enough to hire a real sculptor, because what you're seeing is an actual mold of Satan that will soon be bronzed. Inspiring! Sister Wendy chafes in agony. The plan is to legally install the Satanic tribute at the capitol, but apparently the state stopped licensing statehouse installations when the Satan superfans' efforts gained traction. Yes, an ACLU lawsuit on their behalf is pending. Isn't this fun?
Anyway, let's talk about the Satan art. Some observations:
1. "Unicorn" is what I'm getting from this. I bet the real Satan wouldn't mind trotting around rainbows on the cover of a Lisa Frank folder, you know? Love the added glamor of ibex horns!
2. I'm eager to know what the children are learning from Satan here. Could that girl just be checking out his underarm? Could that girl be the best?
3. Satan has the body and biceps of Emmy-winning actress Felicity Huffman. Taut and comely.
4. Satan's beard is a little cliche for me. Would've liked to see a sharp vandyke.
5. There is something just the slightest bit Humphrey Bogart about this Satan's mug!
6. The pursed lips are the best part. Satan is reserving his opinions, but clearly judging you.
7. Who are these colonial children? At what Little Red Schoolhouse did they find such dowdy clothes?
8. Satan's hand choreography is a little over the top. Rein it in, Satan.
9. When bronzed, this will be terrifying.
10. I hope there's an engraving on the pedestal that says -- in several languages -- "I'll see you in hell."