Okay, honestly? Jay-Z Penny is an incredibly cool rap name. As is Jaycy's, Jay-Z Maxx and Tar-Jay. So if the fella wants to go ahead and be a brand instead of an artist, that is probably fine with the American people.

But the rest of us should probably go ahead and boycott Barneys because of their racial profiling. (I say as if the rest of us were actually shopping at Barneys.)

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Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.