The first episode of "American Horror Story: Freak Show" gave us a number of strange curiosities, including a killer clown, a pair of Siamese twins played by Sarah Paulson, and even a bearded Kathy Bates throwing down a Baltimore accent. The greatest spectacle of all, however, was a German-accented Jessica Lange singing a cabaret version of David Bowie's "Life on Mars." Experience the glum performance below:

She's definitely going for a Marlene Dietrich vibe, given the curls and accent. But the two-time Oscar-winning Lange actually reminds me more of the following:

1) Late-stage "Here's Lucy" Lucille Ball

2) The flawless Nanette Fabray

3) And of course, Madonna in the "Me Against the Music" video.

Imagine Jessica Lange deadpanning, "Hey, Britney." You die.