Miracle #1: Jared Leto turns water into single-malt Japanese whiskey.

Miracle #2: Jared Leto heals an official's daughter, proceeds to have sex with said official's daughter.

Miracle #3: Jared Leto distracts form the deformities of a leper by covering him in graphic tattoos and a bit of guyliner.

Miracle #4: Jared Leto walks on water, in a pair of limited-edition hi-top sneakers.

Miracle #5: Jared Leto heals a deaf and dumb man, invites him to join 30 Seconds to Mars.

(photos via Terry's Diary)


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Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.