"Her" is a touching love story that follows the budding romance between a high-waisted-jeans-loving hipster played by Joaquin Phoenix and a silky-voiced operating system voiced by Scarlett Johansson (think Siri, except actually useful). "Him," on the other hand, proves that you should never, ever trust a charming man with a British accent, because he will probably hurt you, but only after sleeping with you and telling you that you're beautiful. Even if that man happens to be a computer. Better yet? Just don't fall in love with a computer, because how creepy is that.

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A former contributor to sites including MTV's The Backlot and Bloody-Disgusting, Chris Eggertsen worked in film development before indulging his love of pop culture writing full time. He specializes in horror, the intersection of social issues and entertainment and Howard Stern. He's on Twitter @HitFixChris.