A fellow by the name of Simone Rovellini has taken it upon himself to go out and ruin your childhood for you! Which is probably for the best, because now that you've suffered heartbreak, are being crushed by student loans, have realized that you don't actually want to eat ice cream for dinner even though you technically can, you might as well see a bunch of Disney princesses get their heads blown off by the sheer force of their own optimism.

I mean, your childhood was over the moment Bambi's mom died anyway.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.