I was going to write something comparing the newly-released trailers for "The Canyons" and "Lovelace" -- the former, as you may know, being the porno-themed movie Lindsay Lohan took after she lost her role in the latter porno-themed movie.

I probably would have written something about how "The Canyons" does the porn thing more authentically, as Lindsay's co-star is real-life naked actor James Deen, which actually makes this a much more sensational role for the actress to take on. I also might have noted that it's about time Lindsay Lohan teamed up with Bret Easton Ellis, who (obviously) wrote "The Canyons."

But then I realized it would definitely be more worthwhile to take screen grabs of the text from the two trailers and rearrange them into a -- if I do say so myself -- totally poignant poem that basically says it all.

Liana Maeby grew up in Los Angeles and it has made her just as terrible as you'd expect. A graduate of USC's film school, she previously worked as an editor for Crushable.com, and has written for publications like Interview and The Village Voice. Her first book, a satirical work entitled "Earl Can Hurl (You Can Hurl Too)" written when she was eight, remains unpublished.